May I?

Guys under the control of a keyholder eventually observe changes in their sexual behavior. Some claim that the longer they wait the more they change. I’ve been skeptical of some of these claims. I have to admit that the more I want to ejaculate, the more likely it is that I will write my post about things that turn me on.

There’s absolutely no question that it takes very little to start me getting hard right now. I’m not even through paragraph two in this post and my penis is on its way. Currently, I’m not locked in the Jail Bird. So my cock is free to express its interest. Right now, it’s quite interested.

This is a little odd. I know that no matter how hard I get, nothing is going to come of it. I can’t masturbate. I’m not sure, but I’m probably allowed to stimulate myself so long as ejaculation isn’t going to happen. Mrs. Lion and I haven’t discussed this. If I were her, I would not only allow it but potentially encourage it. After all, every time I get aroused without climax, my need to ejaculate grows.

I’m certainly not about edge myself. Even with permission to do it, I know I’d end up feeling massively frustrated. I’m not enough of a masochist to induce that on my own. To date, Mrs. Lion has shown no inclination to recruit me for this purpose. I don’t expect her to. It’s too much like jerking off. We’ve had a very firm rule in place for over five years that prohibits me from masturbating. Mrs. Lion has made it clear that this activity feels like a betrayal to her. I don’t know how she feels about some random rubbing. I tend to do this when I find myself getting spontaneously aroused.

This tendency may indicate that it is better for me to return full-time to the Jail. Bird A chastity device removes all ambiguity. A question for Mrs. Lion, and I suppose me, is what sexual activity I’m allowed on my own. Clearly, without a mechanical device to prevent it, I get hard when my mind and body decide it’s time. The fact that my hand sometimes drifts south is something I can either control voluntarily or allow my chastity device to control for me.

If, in fact, Mrs. Lion wants a strict sexual hands-off policy, she can trust me to self-report any “accidents” that I have. If I do report one, she can either lock me up as a way of helping me learn, or use her paddle as a Lion memory aid. I have no idea how she feels about this. If, she wants a strict hands-off policy, I may find myself self-reporting quite often until I truly get the message.

This casual touching is something I’ve done forever when my penis is available. I’m not sure it’s strictly sexual. It just feels good. I absolutely never do it with the intention of even approaching orgasm. It’s just not on my mind. At odd moments, my hand feels good on my hard, or nearly-hard cock. We’ve never really subscribed to micromanaging my behavior. But in this case, since the sensation is clearly sexual, it might make sense to get very explicit about what I can and can’t do.

There is a third option. She can let me continue this idle playing on the provision that I have to tell her about it each time it happens. This can give her a sense of how important it is. It can also draw my attention to this behavior. We’ll find out how she feels about this soon enough. Mrs. Lion reads everything I write.