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In: Games, Health and safety, Mrs Lion Comments

To be fair, most of the “cooking” I’ve been doing has been heating pre-made stuff. However, I was including the whole procedure including cleanup in my rant. At some point it becomes overwhelming to be the only one who can make it to the kitchen. End rant.

The good news, and it’s good only in that it’s a possible cause, is that we think Lion’s sleepiness is a side effect of some new medications he’s been taking. The bad news is that he can’t not take these medications. I’m hoping he eventually gets used to the drugs so he can stay awake. He’s reported that he’s stayed awake this morning so maybe that’s a step in the right direction.

We did snuggle finally last night. I was going to ask if he wanted to snuggle but he was snoozing so I waited. I really think right now we need to concentrate on being close. Sex and/or play will happen in time. Of course I don’t intend to let things drag out. He needs attention. I just think things need to normalize a bit in terms of how we feel. If he’s falling asleep and I’m coughing it’s not really conducive to sex.

Lion asked to be spared from playing our game while watching football. Fair enough. The only problem with letting him off the hook is that we’re running out of football season. We do have a lot of college bowl games coming up so there are some opportunities there. We may be reduced to Zapardy! unless I can come up with something else. Not that Zapardy! isn’t exciting. We could potentially play it every night and we could alter the rules a bit every so often. Maybe it doesn’t have to be just zaps. There’s no reason we couldn’t throw some swats in there.

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In: BDSM, Lion's Journal

There’s a little corner of BDSM that is occupied by activities most of us would never consider. Every so often, a blogger will promote one of these activities and I will cringe. No, I’m not disgusted, I’m worried that readers might actually try them. In this case the blogger claims to be a “femdom”. He/she writes about activities with “her” husband. This is nothing particularly unique. The Web is full of this stuff. A lot of guys have masturbatory fun reading these accounts.

In this case, the blogger writes about her husband consuming her urine. She calls it “nectar”. Pee drinking isn’t new. It’s a practice that some people of both sexes find very hot. Like many BDSM activities, there are risks involved in this activity. These risks can be minimized if you understand them.

There are two basic urine-based activities: peeing on someone and consuming urine. The first, peeing on someone, actually has value in the vanilla world. Urine is nearly sterile. It also has some useful properties. One is that it can ease the misery of jellyfish stings. Peeing on someone who is freshly stung will reduce the agony. It’s also been used in situations where there is no source of clean water. Urine can be used to clean a wound in that case.

Recreational spraying of your partner is the BDSM version of this. There are a few considerations before giving a golden shower. The first is to be sure the recipient has eye protection. Urine in the eyes is unpleasant and not very safe. Either confine the shower below the neck or provide goggles. Assure your urine is safe; more on that in a bit.

There’s no special technique to this. Males have lots of practice aiming their stream and can provide good coverage. Females generally scooch over their victims and let go. Of course, it’s very important to wash off afterward. Urine decomposes quickly into noxious-smelling stuff. Ammonia is one component. That’s not very good for you. A post-golden-shower shower will wash that risk away.

Drinking pee, on the other hand, isn’t simple at all. There are important considerations to guard the health of the consumer. Let’s run down the list:

  • Medications Many drugs are excreted via the kidneys. That means urine will contain the drug that’s been filtered. If you’ve taken penicillin, you’ve smelled it when you pee. It is dangerous-to-potentially-deadly to consume urine provided by someone taking meds.
  • Diseases UTI’s (urinary tract infections) and STD’s (sexually transmitted diseases) can be spread via urine. This includes yeast infections. Got a UTI? No nectar from you!
  • Quantity The so-called femdom blogger writes about making her husband consume all her pee, particularly when she is under the weather. Consider what that does to him. Any liquids you consume are eventually filtered by your kidneys. Pee, yours or someone else’s, is the waste that person’s kidneys filtered out. By consuming it,  you are making you kidneys work much harder to remove that extra toxin. That suggests you should limit your pee consumption. Each bladder voiding is generally between 8 and 16 ounces of pee. Consuming 4 ounces or so, limits the load on your kidneys and sends you the submissive message you want. Right?
  • Don’t recycle If you consume urine, let your pee go where it belongs; down the toilet. Consuming your pee after drinking pee, further concentrates the toxins you are forcing your kidneys to process. It’s really dangerous to do this.

If you are wondering how I know so much about this, it’s because I was safety director of a very large BDSM organization and over the years have taught play safety. Pee play is one of the subjects that gets little attention outside the uninformed fantasy writing of people it turns on. I haven’t given workshops in a long time and I see very little accurate safety information on the Web. This is my attempt to help make your kinky fun safer.

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In: Mrs Lion Comments

I spent some time looking on the internet for things to spice up our sex life. Granted, it wasn’t a long time, but what I discovered is that we already do (or have done) a lot of it. It’s not that I don’t think I could learn anything. I’m not stupid enough to pronounce myself a BDSM genius. I just didn’t see anything interesting. I think the problem is that we haven’t been doing anything lately. And what we’ve been doing tends to be the same old, same old.

Lion has still been sleeping a lot and my sinuses have kicked into overdrive in the past few days. Whatever cold thing I had is still hanging on. I’m tired but not sleepy, if that makes any sense. When Lion was snoozing yesterday, I tried to join him in slumber, but it just didn’t work. He can fall asleep at the drop of a hat. However, when it comes to bedtime, I’m out like a light and poor Lion spends hours watching TV. Whatever it is we’re going through, it’s definitely not conducive to sex.

At this point, I’m a little annoyed at feeling yucky. I’m also annoyed at being the one who does most of the cooking. It’s not Lion’s fault. He feels horrible too. I think work, and its stressors, and home, and its stressors, are getting to me. So when Lion says we didn’t play long, or he stills needs to be waxed, I want to scream.

Lion is a very appreciative person. He thanks me for making dinner. He thanks me for playing with him. I know it’s not his fault he doesn’t feel good any more than it’s my fault I don’t feel good. I’m not trying to Lion-bash although I know he’ll see it that way. If anything, I’m finally speaking up and letting him know I’m stressed. It’s my fault for not speaking up sooner.

I guess it’s ironic that when I’m sitting downstairs writing about doing most of the cooking, Lion is upstairs making soup. I think we both need to curl up in some nice soup today. It will take a lot out of him and he’ll probably snooze a lot later. That’s fine. We both need to do whatever we can to feel better. Maybe we just need to get back to basics. Some nice snuggling with no sex required would help.

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In: Lion's Journal

My dry spell ended last night. Mrs. Lion gave me a great blowjob. I’m not all that confident that ends the difficulty I’ve been having, but it was a very welcome relief. A couple of people offered ideas about why I have been unable to come. Jessa wrote:

“Honestly it seems more like boredom. Same thing every time. Everyone likes variety every now and then. That’s why when things got switched up it happened.”

That’s a really good point. We tend to be creatures of habit. Over the last months, at some point during the evening, usually well after 10PM, Mrs. Lion will come over and snuggle with me. Sometimes I ask her, others she moves over herself. She will play with me and once I get hard, sit up and masturbate me. Usually she edges me a few times. Sometimes she will give me oral.

Jessa may be right. Neither of us is that excited about that process. That’s why the Box O’Fun came out for a while. Doing what the card I picked said, became something we did instead of the snuggle. We have been on a sort of sexual autopilot.

This isn’t Mrs. Lion’s fault. Her libido is sleeping. She has no interest in sex for herself. So any sexual activity is done because she knows I need it. That makes it nearly impossible for spontaneous passion. Our rules and punishments offered a way to add some unplanned activity. I think we both enjoy it in very different ways. Unfortunately, the training has been effective and I hardly ever break a rule.

Since I am the only one who wants sexual arousal, all our activities are a one directional. Mrs. Lion is the initiator and activator of what we do. Her focus isn’t around working out ways to spice things up. She’s been tired and likes to come home from work and play games on her iPad. I don’t think she is angry at me, but interactivity is at an all-time low.

Add to that the fact that I’ve been under the weather and our net energy level is horribly low. It’s to her eternal credit that she hasn’t given it all up.

We won’t cure this malaise with clothespins or Icy Hot on my balls. Well, not entirely anyway. The sexual creativity needs to return to our lives. In the past, I’ve done research and made suggestions to Mrs. Lion. After a while, it felt like I was scripting my sexual adventures. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but not really what I think will work. It may be time for her to become a bit more active in terms of following what others are up to. I know she doesn’t really want to do this. The thing is that we need to not be so isolated.

In many marriages, boredom is characterized by less and less contact. Mrs. Lion won’t let that happen to us. She makes sure that we do something sexual nearly every night. It was our agreement five years ago to do this. I’m very happy she does.

We need to inject more energy into our lives. Maybe part of the reason we are both so tired is that nothing is happening that interests us. When we first started playing about fifteen years ago, Mrs. Lion worried she would get bored. It’s taken a long time, but maybe that’s what’s happening now. I don’t think either of us wants to give up. We have to find a way to bring the fun back. Any thoughts?