Path From FLR Fantasy To Reality

This is that post where some fondly held beliefs may be shattered. I think it is important because success in starting male chastity or a female led relationship depends on getting this right.

No matter how I look at it, Female Led  Relationships (FLR) are male inventions. This is a highly counter-intuitive conclusion. Just as male chastity is also a male institution, FLR is the product of male sexual fantasy. That’s not to say it’s all fiction. That’s not the case at all. Mrs. Lion is firmly in charge of our FLR and enforced male chastity. Still, that doesn’t mean it was her idea.

FLR and enforced male chastity are alive and well. They are consensual power exchanges between partners. Once they get going, who started them is probably not very important. But if you want to begin your own, it’s critical to understand the realities before going to your partner.

Pretty much everything you read about male chastity and FLR are scenes, real or imagined, that arouse their authors. The underlying theme is that the man’s will is subsumed by his partner’s. This is manifest by lockup of his penis, requirements to perform menial chores, passive acceptance of punishment, and requirements to deliver unreciprocated sexual pleasure to his partner.

His arousal comes from his sexual frustration and submission. Dialogue often centers around reminding him how helpless and unimportant he is. The fantasies tend to be extreme. Sexual fantasies tend to push beyond sane limits.

This isn’t all gloom and doom. There’s an easy way to translate fantasies to a request that a partner can actually act on. Let’s say you would like to try a female led relationship. You’ve been reading blogs, forum posts, and stories. You have an idea what turns you on. I’ll use myself as an example:

  • I got turned on when the strong wife spanked her husband for disobedience.
  • Being given rules turned me on.
  • Punishment scenes are hot.
  • Mild humiliation (panties diapers, pegging, etc) turned me on.

That’s the short list. My initial list was much longer. I worked on it to remove duplicate entries. I also simplified as much as possible. The short list turned me on. That’s why I ended up presenting to Mrs. Lion. Initially, she agreed she could make some rules and punish me (by spanking) for breaking them. We were on our way!

Since then, we’ve done a lot more. None of it conforms to those fantasies other people wrote. What we do is all us. Maybe this can help you get started.


  1. A very timely post as I move closer to that conversation with my wife of almost 15 years. One of the wonderful benefits of this blog is that a man and woman living together in a FLR can communicate the realities of this lifestyle based on practical, first-hand experience.

    I look forward to more advice, especially any guidance which would help other men as they have that first awkward conversation with their wife. If others are like me, I think asking my wife to marry me was easier than the task ahead of me; asking her to assume leadership in our marriage. The prospects of her rejection and diminished confidence in me are balanced by my long pent up desire to submit to her in a FLR.

    Like you have experienced, Mr. Lion, I also wonder about what life will be like going forward, especially if she accepts my request. I’m far enough along to know that the fantasy of submission is much different than the reality of life after our roles are reversed will likely be. Will I enjoy the loss of freedom? Hopefully it will be as fulfilling as your relationship seems to have been. Thank you.

    1. Author

      You may want to make your first request much simpler; perhaps make some rules and enforce them. Let the rest grow on its own.

    2. I found a contract that showed how a cage and life might be used. Then I asked my wife to read it. It opened her eyes somewhat and she agreed to give it a try! That first conversation is never easy.

      1. Thank you for the advice. Do you have an example of the contract that you referenced? Would appreciate you pointing me in the right direction.

  2. Great advice. If you start to be submissive to your partner you might be surprised how quickly they pick up on it and take on a more dominant role….it’s not all great my Princess has taken my spot on the couch, in her defence she does allow me to lay on her lap. 🙂

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