This is that post where some fondly held beliefs may be shattered. I think it is important because success in starting male chastity or a female led relationship depends on getting this right.
No matter how I look at it, Female Led Relationships (FLR) are male inventions. This is a highly counter-intuitive conclusion. Just as male chastity is also a male institution, FLR is the product of male sexual fantasy. That’s not to say it’s all fiction. That’s not the case at all. Mrs. Lion is firmly in charge of our FLR and enforced male chastity. Still, that doesn’t mean it was her idea.
FLR and enforced male chastity are alive and well. They are consensual power exchanges between partners. Once they get going, who started them is probably not very important. But if you want to begin your own, it’s critical to understand the realities before going to your partner.
Pretty much everything you read about male chastity and FLR are scenes, real or imagined, that arouse their authors. The underlying theme is that the man’s will is subsumed by his partner’s. This is manifest by lockup of his penis, requirements to perform menial chores, passive acceptance of punishment, and requirements to deliver unreciprocated sexual pleasure to his partner.
His arousal comes from his sexual frustration and submission. Dialogue often centers around reminding him how helpless and unimportant he is. The fantasies tend to be extreme. Sexual fantasies tend to push beyond sane limits.
This isn’t all gloom and doom. There’s an easy way to translate fantasies to a request that a partner can actually act on. Let’s say you would like to try a female led relationship. You’ve been reading blogs, forum posts, and stories. You have an idea what turns you on. I’ll use myself as an example:
- I got turned on when the strong wife spanked her husband for disobedience.
- Being given rules turned me on.
- Punishment scenes are hot.
- Mild humiliation (panties diapers, pegging, etc) turned me on.
That’s the short list. My initial list was much longer. I worked on it to remove duplicate entries. I also simplified as much as possible. The short list turned me on. That’s why I ended up presenting to Mrs. Lion. Initially, she agreed she could make some rules and punish me (by spanking) for breaking them. We were on our way!
Since then, we’ve done a lot more. None of it conforms to those fantasies other people wrote. What we do is all us. Maybe this can help you get started.