By:
In: CBT

I proved last night that I can arouse Lion the night after a ruined orgasm. To be fair, he was horny all by himself despite the fact that he knew the tiny clothespins were coming. And I guess I also proved that I won’t stop just because Lion begs me to.

I started off with one tiny clothespin on the underside shaft of his penis. This was new. I know they hurt like hell on the head. I was experimenting if they’d hurt just as much on the shaft. I have tried them on his balls in the past. It turns out they hurt no matter where they go. Obviously the more sensitive the area, the more it would hurt but it really doesn’t matter where that sensitive area is. When I went to put one on the head of his penis he asked me if I was really going to so it. Of course! That’s where they go. Just because I tried one on another spot didn’t mean I wasn’t going to put it on its intended target.

Lion can usually handle them for a minute or two. It’s difficult but he can. This time, however, he was screaming for me to take it off. I waited a few seconds and then removed it. I’m not sure if he’s getting wimpy in his old age or if he’s just out of practice. He also wasn’t in the mood anymore. I don’t think that’s ever happened before. Did it have anything to do with the ruined orgasm? Did it have anything to do with the anticipation of the tiny clothespins?

He said he should just throw them out. Mistake. I can throw them out. I can remove all the tiny clothespin cards from the Box O’Fun. But Lion cannot do it. It’s not his decision. He can request. He can suggest. He can plead. Ultimately, I’m the one who will decide the fate of the tiny clothespins.

By:
In: CBT

Thursday night we went out to dinner. Mrs. Lion is very fond of Mexican food, so we went to the local Mexican eatery. This is the third time we’ve had Mexican food since the beginning of summer. Each time, I manage to get some salsa on my shirt. This results in a painful spanking. Thursday was no exception.

I haven’t mastered dipping corn chips in salsa and then getting it all into my mouth without some landing on my shirt. I was very careful this last visit to no avail. Mrs. Lion pointed to a small red spot on the front of my shirt. She gave me that you-know-what’s-going-to-happen-when-we-get-home look.

Sure enough, after Mrs. Lion’s shower, she told me to lie across the bed. She got her wooden spoon and repeated her now-famous performance of very fast swats to the same place on each cheek. The fire she created on my butt was far hotter than anything in that restaurant. She’s become a virtuoso with her wooden spoon. I tried to roll away a couple of times. Each attempt was greeted with her no-nonsense look. I really wanted to escape.

When she finished, she had an amused look on her face. Later, after the fire cooled down in back, I asked her if the liked spanking me. She said she wasn’t sure. She didn’t say she dislike beating me. A neutral attitude is a big change from the way she felt in the past. Clearly, she is comfortable with making my bottom very sore. Her comfort seems to grow as my discomfort increases.

Next on her agenda was teasing me. I was more than ready. She edged me several times. The last few were with very slow, small strokes. I realized she was going to give me a broken orgasm. She’d get me very close and stop. She would give me a few more strokes, and stop. She waited about 15 seconds and start again; a few strokes, stop, wait, and do it again. Before long she got me over the edge and watched as semen slowly leaked out of the head of my penis. She cleaned me with her finger and inserted it in her mouth. She then squeezed my penis like a toothpaste tube, getting the last drops out.

A little later, she had me pick a card from the Box O’Fun. She read the card silently with an evil grin.

“What did I pick?” I asked.

“The tiny clothespins,” she said.

She smiled and wondered out loud if I could get hard enough Friday night to stand at attention while she put those nasty clothespins on the head of my cock. This is the absolute worst CBT activity we have. Two of those little clothespins are pure agony.

Last night, I found out, Fortunately for me, Mrs. Lion  just put one on the shaft of my cock. After a while, she moved it to the head of my cock. I yelled, “Get it off! Get it off,” She did.

I lost my erection. Mrs. Lion declared the evening a success. She got me very aroused one night after the ruined orgasm. And, she did what the card in the Box O’Fun said. I picked another card. Tonight it will be regular clothespins.

By:
In: CBT

It was bound to happen sometime. Lion chose the tiny clothespins from the Box O’Fun. I laughed at him. He didn’t think it was so funny. I know those little bastards hurt. I also know, deep down, he likes to be hurt. Well, he may not like to be hurt, but he likes the idea of being hurt. And he likes the idea of my hurting him; of my being willing to hurt him. He loves that part. It’s what he’s hoped for, for a long time.

As a matter of fact, I did a pretty good job of hurting him when I had to punish him for spilling food on his shirt. Lion insisted the stain was gone. It wasn’t. Besides, whether the stain remained or not was not the issue. That the stain happened at all was the issue. And it had happened. Poor Lion. A bunch of whacks later, Lion’s buns were bright pink.

A while after his buns had quieted down, I snuggled in close to Lion. I was playing with him and he was getting hard. I was thinking about Lion’s request to have more ruined orgasms. Should I give him one? I hadn’t really decided if I liked the idea of more ruined orgasms. There’s no harm in trying it out for a while. But I was debating whether I should give it to him last night.

After Lion picked the card with “tiny clothespins” written on it, I thought I should make him wait for any type of orgasm to make sure he was horny when I applied the little pincers to his cock. On the other hand, if he isn’t horny at all, it will give me a chance to get him aroused if he isn’t really in the mood. For that reason, I decided to give Lion a ruined orgasm. Of course, he had to “suffer” through many edgings first.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Sex
yes to sex t-shirt
Sexual control includes requiring me to get hard and perform even when not in the mood. It isn’t just about denial.

Mrs. Lion got back on track Wednesday night. She used her hand and the Magic Wand to bring me close to ejaculating over and over. I wondered if she would give me a chance to come. She didn’t. Oh well, that’s my lot in life. She did one thing differently on Wednesday: she started earlier in the evening. I appreciate that. It made a nice difference to me.

So far, sex for me is voluntary. If I’m not in the mood, Mrs. Lion doesn’t stimulate me. She’s told me that since sex is for me, there’s no sense forcing me to have it. That’s a loving approach. She takes the same tack with play. Since it is for my benefit, why do it if I don’t want to.

Of course, I don’t get a choice when it comes to punishment. I also don’t get to veto any rule Mrs. Lion cares to make. There appears to be a sharp line between BDSM, Sex, and our Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD). So far, she hasn’t let one intrude into another’s territory.

I understand the reasoning, at least as far as the separation of FLRD and the other stuff. I agree that our FLRD is completely independent of the other stuff. She definitely uses her authority to regulate when I can ejaculate. But she doesn’t use it to control when I should be aroused. Put another way, she’s perfectly happy to leave me frustrated no matter how horny I get, but she isn’t willing to make me hard and arouse me when I say I’m not in the mood.

Ultimately, that means I control sex. I can avoid stimulation and frustration if I want. I’m sure that Mrs. Lion’s assumption is that sooner or later I will want to come. Then, she can frustrate me if she wants. I never play “dead” and tell Mrs. Lion I don’t want to play just because I don’t want to be frustrated again. That’s not in my nature.

I wonder what would happen if Mrs. Lion put in the hard work to arouse me when I am not in the mood. Would I learn to be more responsive in general if she does this regularly? If she pushes me to the edge the day after I ejaculate, will I relearn to be ready sooner? Under the theory of “use it or lose it,” will forced exercise get my hormones in higher gear?

I don’t know the answer to that. I do know that between her hands, mouth, and the Magic Wand, it is unlikely that my penis could remain soft if Mrs. Lion wants it to stiffen. Similarly, using her tools, she should be able to edge me any time she wants. I may not like it, at the moment but then I don’t like clothespins on my balls, at least while she is using them. But later, that pain fuels sexual arousal. Forced arousal is probably just the same.

It’s like being forced to eat your spinach. It’s good for you even though you might hate the taste. I think there is another value in forced sexual arousal: It sends me a powerful message about control. Right now I know that I can’t have an orgasm without it being produced by Mrs. Lion. Should I also know that I will get hard and be ready to come any time she wants? Should getting sexual stimulation be something I control? Should I really be able to say, “No, not tonight”?

This is also true of BDSM play as well. My mood doesn’t have to be receptive. Those clothespins or that Icy Hot will work whether I want to play or not. It’s no different than punishment. I’ve been absolutely pissed at times when Mrs. Lion decided to spank me. It was the last thing in the world I wanted. That didn’t stop her. It shouldn’t.

I think the same is true of sex and play. Yes, they are things I usually like. Mrs. Lion does them because she knows I want them. I don’t see how that translates to letting me decide when I get them. She decides if and when I get to ejaculate. I would like that control to extend to when I get aroused or tortured. It just seems right to me.