Nope. It’s not a new term for a ruined, or broken as Lion likes to call them, orgasm. It’s what happened last night after a long day of Lion making stew and both of us watching a college football game, and then my attempting to edge him. The mind was willing. The body thought it was willing, but decided against it after a few minutes. It was late. We’d both taken naps along the way. Apparently it didn’t matter.

I’ve decided, despite my CPAP machine telling me I’m doing a wonderful job, that I’m just perpetually exhausted. Lion chalks his exhaustion up to age. Whatever the case, I’d like for us to feel better. I’m tired of being tired. The good news for Lion is that I’m trying not to let exhaustion ruin his fun. I can’t do much about it if it’s his exhaustion derailing things, but we’ll do what we can.

Yesterday, two new paddles arrived. The paddle with the hearts cut out of it is definitely sharp. We were warned. It will absolutely draw blood. I want to try it with a few not-so-hard swats to see if it can be used in any capacity without doing too much damage. We’re both thinking the points probably need to be softened a bit for it to be of much use. Lion says drawing blood isn’t the worst thing in the world. But this paddle started to slice open the bubble wrap it was shipped in. What will it do to Lion hide?

The other paddle is long and thin. I’m not entirely sure how to use it. Does it spank both cheeks at once? I always wonder if one cheek gets more attention when I swat both at the same time. Is that fair? I’m more of an equal opportunity spanker. One for the left cheek; one for the right. I’m sure it doesn’t always work out evenly but I try to get it as close as possible. I’ll give it a whirl for our football game today.

Other than the heart-shaped paddle slicing through the bubble wrap, the first thing I noticed is the grain on both paddles. It’s beautiful. I almost want to hang them on the wall so I can admire them. For Lion’s sake, I’ll admire them while I spank his buns.


  1. I have a sleep disorder called idiopathic hypersomnia, and while there is no known cause for my exhaustion you can have secondary hypersomnia from another illness (like sleep apnea). Once you start using the machine it takes a while to get the exhaustion out of your system. My mom has sleep apnea, and she thought I did with my symptoms but turned out she just had my symptoms in a secondary sort of way. Hope all of that makes sense…

    1. Author

      I’ve been told I need to be patient. It’s not my strong point but I’m trying.

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