The only thing good about the Giants right now is that next week is a bye week so they can’t lose. I decided on Saturday that we would play our football game while watching the Giants since that’s the only game we’re guaranteed to watch. I’ll have to pick another game for next week.

Part of the way through the game, Eli Manning threw yet another interception. It’s true that the offensive line isn’t much help to him but he can throw to the correct color jersey. If he’s in doubt, he should look at the color he’s wearing before he makes a throw. I decided I should do something to Lion when Eli throws an interception or fumbles the ball. I didn’t want it to be a zap or a swat. Those are for penalties and points. However, since I’ve been using the tenderizer paddle, Lion suggested a swat with the tenderizer side. That works. It’s different enough.

Last week I hadn’t intended to swat harder for opposition points. When the Giants scored their first pathetic field goal, Lion noted that I was hitting harder when the Giants scored. Maybe I overcompensated. Maybe I’m just annoyed that the Giants can’t score a damn touchdown. Maybe I’m tired of losing every week. That’s obviously no reason to take it out on Lion. If anything, I probably varied the strength of the swats from one score to the next for the remainder of the game. At least that was the goal.

Before we watched the game, I waxed Lion. I did the front side, except for armpits, and then Lion suggested only doing his thighs and butt. We’ll circle back to the rest at a later date. I think I bruised him less this week. I also missed fur again. I think that’s to be expected. I’m not sure I’ll ever get it all. It’s not that I don’t try. It’s just difficult to see every tiny hair. And then some of them get stubborn and don’t want to come out no matter which direction the hair grows. It’s frustrating. I can always sneak up on them next time.

I had Lion pick from the Box O’Fun after the game. He chose figging. I’ll have to brush up on my ginger peeling skills. It’s been a while. Normally I pull the ginger out of the fridge right before I peel it. I wonder if it will have more of an effect if I let it get to room temperature first. It’s worth a shot.

Before knowing me, Mrs. Lion never spanked her partner nor did other painful things to him. It wasn’t in her sexual vocabulary. I taught her all about such things. I showed her my collection of BDSM toys. I offered lessons on how to use them. Over time, Mrs. Lion became proficient in Cock and Ball Torture (CBT), bondage, spanking, and anal play. I was both her teacher and victim.

When we began our Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD), our pattern continued. I did research on the Web, purchased new punishment implements, and offered lessons on how to use them. I imagine most couples proceed the same way. While necessary, this pattern establishes a destructive process.

By definition, punishment is not the creation of the punished. It’s something unpleasant inflicted on someone to express displeasure for something. This is sharply opposed to BDSM, which is a cooperative process to provide welcome sensation to the bottom. In that context, it is perfectly reasonable for the bottom to supply both equipment and instruction.

When we began our FLRD, both of us were clueless as to how to proceed. I did research and offered advice to Mrs. Lion. As with BDSM, she took my advice and off we went. Over the years, I’ve remained her instructor and purchasing department.

This has been effective. Mrs. Lion has learned to be an efficient  disciplining wife. Clearly, my role as instructor isn’t appropriate in a relationship where my disciplining wife is meting out painful, unpleasant punishments. That’s not to say that all this time Mrs. Lion has been ineffective. She has be very effective. She simply does what I taught her much more intensely than I expect. Punishment moves from fantasy realization to utter misery. Still, I have too much input.

That’s changing quickly. Mrs. Lion realizes that she doesn’t need my “help” to hurt me. She has the tools and the techniques. There is no reason she needs me to do anything beyond exposing my bare bottom or following her orders . Of course, habits die hard and I can’t resist offering advice.

Perhaps, it’s time for me to be punished for “backseat driving” her discipline. There is an implicit disrespect embedded in my assumption she needs my help to punish me. My recent experiences with her wooden spoon suggest she no longer needs to hear from me.

An independent, strict, disciplining wife is what I want. I’m not alone in that. However, in this day and age, you are unlikely able to get an “off the shelf” disciplining woman who is ready willing and able to scorch your butt. Based on what I’ve seen, a lot of men think that their partners are exactly that.

I’m convinced that both Mrs. Lion and I needed these years of cooperative FLRD. Neither of us had any real experience in our roles. I had the advantage of decades of BDSM experience, primarily as a top. It made perfect sense for me to share my knowledge with my lioness. If I didn’t offer help and just explained how I wanted her to take over as my disciplining wife, I don’t think we would be doing it today. There is so much we both had to learn beyond using a paddle.

The biggest lesson for us was learning that we were good with our respective roles. Mrs. Lion had to learn that I would accept being hurt, sometimes quite badly, and still lover her. I wouldn’t react and attack her. I would accept her punishments in the spirit they are given. This is a big leap of faith for her. She doesn’t want me to stop loving her.

She also had to overcome the notion that it’s wrong for a wife to assert herself in such a physical way. She wasn’t prepared for this. To her eternal credit, Mrs. Lion persisted and learned. She doesn’t like hurting me but does it because it moves our relationship forward.

For my part, I’m learning to better accept painful spankings. I still think that Mrs. Lion needs my help to become even more effective. I’m wired that way. So far, we haven’t addressed this fault of mine. My feedback is reassuring to both of us. It helps reinforce Mrs. Lion’s belief she is doing the right thing. I am reassured that I have some measure of control.

I think it’s time for me to enter graduate school. I can’t think of any disciplinary situation where the person being disciplined is allowed to provide any feedback or advice to the disciplinarian. Wait! Aren’t I offering advice to Mrs. Lion? Isn’t this post exactly what I say I shouldn’t do? Should I be spanked for writing this?

Maybe I should. I hope not. Perhaps my posts should live in neutral territory where I can freely express my views on FLRD and punishment. I’m pretty sure Mrs. Lion will be OK with this. If Mrs. Lion wants to suppress my input, she can do it without stopping me from posting about this. She can also forbid offering advice in posts.

That’s my point. It’s all up to her.

waxing balls with no strip wax
No-strip wax removing pubic hair. I prefer this less messy method.

Last night we had very vanilla sex. Well, Lion did. And vanilla in the sense that we used no implements or BDSM. I didn’t make Lion choose from the Box O’Fun so he didn’t have anything to look forward to. That’s not to say he didn’t look forward to snuggling or edging. He always looks forward to the times we’re close.

If Lion felt he was missing something, he didn’t show it. He was erect almost as soon as I touched him. And he certainly didn’t think he was missing anything when I moved to give him some oral action. I edged him a few times and then gave him an orgasm. Too soon, I hear you say. I have no idea how many days passed between orgasms, but I wanted to give him one. In that respect, it wasn’t too soon.

Lion has been advocating (read: pestering) for me to wax him. “I’m furry”, “Did you see all the hair in my crack in that picture?” and “Do you want to wax me when we get home?” Nope. I don’t want to wax you. I’m tired. I have a headache. But if I wait until I feel 100% well, Lion will be furrier than he ever was. So today I will wax him, front and back, if it kills me. Up to now, I’ve been doing the front one day and the back the next. This seemed like a fair division of labor. But since I didn’t do anything yesterday, I’ll have to do it all today. I’m going to attempt to use the stripless wax for more of it. It’s easier to apply and I think it’s less messy. We’ll see how it goes.

When I think of it, I’ll have Lion pick from the Box O’Fun. I doubt he’ll be in the mood for fun tonight but that just means he’ll have longer to look forward to whatever selection he makes. Come on, tiny clothespins!

lion's butt with spanking spoon
Mrs. Lion’s spanking spoon. Her new technique is the most painful yet. I’m a bit hairy. Mrs. Lion will wax me later today.
(Click image to view larger)



As Mrs. Lion wrote in her post yesterday, I was punished for not reminding her that Thursday is punishment day. We had a weekend visitor a week ago so we temporarily moved Mrs. Lion’s paddle collection to the basement. When it came time to punish me, the paddles were still downstairs. Earlier last week, I was spanked for spilling on my shirt. The paddles were downstairs and Mrs. Lion used her heavy, spanking spoon.

She administered a painful spanking that night. She hit hard and fast. She seemed a bit unsatisfied with her handiwork. The spoon has never been her favorite disciplinary tool. Ironically, the spoon is one of the few toys that bruised my bottom. When she finished, she said that she would get the rest of her paddles.

Friday night arrived and it was time to spank me. The paddles were still in the basement. I asked if she wanted to get them. She said she didn’t and got the spoon. This spanking was different than the one on Tuesday night. It hurt more, a lot more. She started with fairly light swats. She maintained a cruelly, fast pace. The pain set in very quickly.

She alternated with five or ten swats to my  left cheek and then repeated them on my right. Over and over, harder and harder the unrelenting swats went on. She uses the convex side of the spoon. The force of her blows are concentrated on a small area of tender flesh.

As she continued to hit me she said,

“Why didn’t I think of this before?”

“What?” I grunted.

“It’s much better if I keep hitting the same spots.”

Oh. I understood why the pain was so intense. Mrs. Lion was using clusters of very fast, hard swats on the same small area on each cheek. Over and over. Harder and harder. I had to escape. I started to roll away. She gave me a hard look and I rolled back into position. She resumed sharp, fast, hits to those two small areas.

It was unbearable. Fortunately, she took mercy on me and stopped. She was pleased with herself. Apparently, a disciplinary light bulb went on in her head. She realized that she had discovered an effective way to make her spanking more painful. It’s true. She did.

She said I was red. Of course, I couldn’t see it. My bottom, right on the sit spot was sore for a while after she finished. Something new happened.

In all fairness, Mrs. Lion has used various paddles to give me very painful spankings. Friday’s wasn’t the worst she’s dished out. That’s not the point. Clearly, she and her spoon found an effective way to work together. She seemed to be in more control of the pain she gave me.

More importantly, this spanking was different. It was nothing like prior punishments or play spankings. It felt more focused. Had she gone on for a while longer, she might have produced tears. This spanking clearly hurt me much more than it hurt her.

From a technical perspective, by concentrating on a small area, she had a better chance of giving me a lasting bruise. If she did, she could move her aim a few inches and continue unabated. I also don’t think she was hitting as hard as she could. I got the sense that Friday was sort of an experiment, a test of a new technique.

If that’s the case, I imagine that she will continue using her spoon to spank me. She’ll apply it with more force for many more swats. She may have to sit on me to keep me still. I really wanted to get away.  If she wanted to spank me again if, for example, I forget to thank her, she can do so on two new spots.

I have to admit that I’m more than a little afraid of that wooden spoon.