Julie and Julia

It sounds like Lion is a bit bored with our enforced chastity/FLRD too. I asked him how we can spice up an already spicy relationship. He suggested we discuss it.

I suppose it makes sense, on some level, that even if you do things that are above and beyond “normal” everyday sex, those things could become routine after a while. I’m not saying we’ve tried everything, but at some point wouldn’t you exhaust all possibilities? Let’s say you start on January 1 and do a different thing each night. At what point would you be out of ideas? The movie “Julie and Julia” was about a woman who decided to cook her way through Julia Child’s cookbook. She made every recipe. I’m not sure how many there were but eventually she came to the end. Wouldn’t the same be true for BDSM?

If you took The Joy of Sex and tried every position, it wouldn’t take long to get through it. Even if there was a BDSM version, it still doesn’t seem like it would take long. I know there are things we wouldn’t want to try. But I’d think it could be accomplished in a year. I may be way off.

My point is that I think things tend to get routine after a while no matter what you do. Maybe if we continue with the things we’ve been doing with a few new things thrown in for good measure, it will keep things from getting stale. Obviously I have no clue.


  1. The original “Joy of Sex” actually had a couple of slightly BDSM-ey sections, including one about “slow masturbation” (essentially very delayed gratification) that, not surprisingly, I found extremely hot…

    I think it’s good to be thinking of the BDSM stuff more as play rather than a “lifestyle”.
    The latter puts a lot of pressure on a situation to do things the “right way” (“One Twue Way”, so to speak).

    My wife, in particular, hates the “lifestyle” terminology, even though that seems to be in fact what we’re living with regards to chastity play right now. As long as it stays “play”, I think we’ll be fine.

    1. Actually, I got my start in BDSM from “slow masturbation”. It turned me on bigtime. Tried it and off I went. You can read about it here.

  2. Your reflection is very true. The novelty and transgression are exciting but everything ends up stagnating. Excuse me for my English I am using a translator. Your blog is a joy in the internet ocean

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