As I predicted and Mrs. Lion proved (post), a painful spanking revives my libido and increases my semen production. When I’m horny, I tend to be curious. I wonder how various things might feel. For example, I received a newsletter from Rodeoh, a company that makes and sells panties designed to hold a strap-on dildo firmly in place. Mrs. Lion has one for pegging me. This particular newsletter featured some brightly-colored dildos. We already have one rainbow model that is 1-3/4 inches in diameter and about seven inches long. We haven’t tried it yet.
This newsletter pointed me to a page that, among others, features a 1-7/8 inch dia. model they call the Adam. Aside from looking cool, it made me wonder how long it would take for me to learn to accept it. Last time we did anal play, I managed to take a 1-3/4 inch dildo (not the new one). I’ve yet to learn to be able to take a true pegging. So, it makes very little sense for me to imagine taking an even larger model. But because I’m horny, I do, It’s expensive and I didn’t consider ordering it, but…
We haven’t done anal play in a long time. I don’t particularly like things up my ass. Of course, that’s not the point. I’m not unhappy that we have been neglecting my asshole. Then, why did I find the Adam so interesting?
That’s something I don’t understand. I’m not being coy and suggesting we get this and stick it up my ass. The idea of doing it is very hot to me. Maybe it’s like spanking or putting clothespins on the head of my penis; the idea is exciting, the reality is painful and unpleasant.
If I were a masochist, I would crave pain and get aroused when it is provided. I don’t. But I need this pain nonetheless. My theory is that it’s about control. I am clearly not in control when a large, silicone penis is fucking me. The same is true when my bottom is burning and the paddle keeps hitting me.
We’ve just proven once again that my sex drive fades unless painful reminders I’m not in control are administered. I’ve always known that it’s arousing to think of being spanked or pegged, but miserable when it happens. This is probably part of the appeal of wearing a chastity device. It locks my penis away from me. It’s a very hot idea. Actually wearing the device can be inconvenient and frustrating. When I wear it I am constantly reminded that I’ve surrendered all control of my penis. That’s a hot idea, but still frustrating and inconvenient.
I think I’ve always been this way. I’m wired to need to lose control in order to get aroused. It’s part of who I am. I’m lucky that Mrs. Lion understands all this and is willing to put up with me.