Keeping Things In Perspective

We both have fun writing about where our lives intersect with enforced male chastity and our Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD? — pronounced Flird). For the most part, we enjoy the twists and turns of this lifestyle. Inevitably, other areas of our lives get dragged in. Our sundry illnesses and other interruptions are reported. They affect our pursuit of FLRD.

Because our blog is based on this narrow view of our lives, it’s easy to assume we are consumed by the management of my behavior and my penis. It can give the erroneous impression that to be like us, you have to spend a majority of your time on these matters. Of course, when you first start out, the inclination is to obsess on this sexually-based kink.

I certainly wanted to do this in the beginning. I started endless conversations about how we might live in our new world. We started out with enforced male chastity. This practice is generally more about penis bondage than any more serious power exchange. It was fun. We probably would have grown weary of it after a short time if it didn’t happen to deliver an important benefit to us: We became much more sexual.

Over a period of years, we had grown apart physically. There were lots of reasons and neither of us seemed able to get things back together. Our marriage remained very strong. Neither of us wanted to stray. I was frustrated and Mrs. Lion felt isolated. The chastity device and the necessary rituals around locking and unlocking as well as teasing an edging, forced intimacy back. We both loved the change. That’s how male chastity became a permanent part of our lives.

After a few months, we both settled into a sexual routine fueled by the cage. We developed sexual habits that bring us both pleasure. Despite a few periods of “wild lion” (i.e.: no cage), I remain locked into a chastity device full time. Even when wild, I don’t masturbate. My only sexual pleasure comes from Mrs. Lion.

Along the line, I read about female led relationships. I admit that I was drawn to the idea of enforced obedience. I like being spanked; at least as BDSM play. So, I proposed the idea to Mrs. Lion. She agreed to give it a try. It’s taken us almost three years to integrate FLRD into our day-to-day lives. We are still working on it. But like enforced chastity, it provides real benefits way outside of the typical, sexual FLR.

Like enforced male chastity, FLRD isn’t a time-sucking monster that pushes the rest of our lives into the background. For us, it’s an educational process. Mrs. Lion observes a behavior that she doesn’t like. I’m warned to avoid that behavior. Each time I disregard the warning, I am punished. Generally, that means a spanking. Unlike the BDSM sort, punishment spanking takes place when Mrs. Lion decides and is more intense. There is no sex associated with it. Sometimes, she also makes me stand in a corner or sit on my punishment stool, which is covered in rough, coconut doormat material.

Even though punishment sounds a bit like a BDSM scene, it has the desired effect on me. Over time, my infractions become far less frequent. Any back slipping is punished. As Mrs. Lion has grown more effective as my disciplining wife, my ability to learn has improved. Unlike enforced male chastity, FLRD changes from a session-based activity into one that permeates more aspects of our daily lives.

It isn’t that Mrs. Lion has become a stern dominatrix. She hasn’t. But she uses her FLRD tools in more areas of our lives. While the basic rules are pretty much the same, enforcement is 100%. She’s learned to exercise her authority with more ease. She’s beginning to internalize her role. I’m no longer fantasizing too much about mine. Yes, it’s kind of sexy to think about being spanked. But I make a conscious effort to follow my rules. I work to avoid being punished. While I can’t objectively detect it, I think I am generally more obedient.

How can I say that these things don’t dominate our lives? Well, in reality we don’t dedicate much time to them. The vast majority of our time is spent doing the same things any other couple would do. Of course, most couples don’t have paddles hanging from the back of their bedroom doors.