scratchy welcome mat
This is as scratchy as it looks. This covers the punishment stool

Monday night was punishment night. We had pasta and wouldn’t you know it, I got some sauce on my shirt. I was not happy. I seriously didn’t want to be punished. To her credit, when Mrs. Lion went to take her shower, she left a paddle on the bed. When she got out, without a word she went to the basement and brought up the punishment stool. When she brought that into our room, I was feeling angry.

Generally, punishments, while very unpleasant, feel like something I want; not Monday night. I was absolutely in no mood for any of this. Mrs. Lion told me to roll over on my stomach. Silently, I complied. She began beating me. It wasn’t a very painful spanking as those things go. She was taking it easy on me. I still yelped a few times.

When she finished, she told me to sit on the stool in the corner. The coconut door mat that covers the stool dug into my sensitive, red buns. I had to adjust my position, I could feel the fibers, like needles, staying in my tender skin. The stool was positioned so that I couldn’t put my feet on the rungs. My entire weight pushed the rough material into my skin.

It wasn’t a very long wait in the corner, but I fumed the entire time I sat there. I tried to be friendly when finally released. The residual pain made it impossible for me to lie on my back. Mrs. Lion said something about me earning the punishment. I shot back that I can’t avoid occasionally spilling on my shirt. It was all I could do not to growl.

This is very different from the usual “scene” atmosphere at punishment time. It generally starts out with me willingly getting in position for the spanking. I usually like to be spanked. Well, not as hard or as much as Mrs. Lion does when she punishes me. But I’m in good spirits before she starts.

I’m not claiming that Monday’s spanking was non-consensual. It wasn’t welcome in any way. It was 100% Mrs. Lion’s doing. In our email exchanges yesterday, she mentioned that I seemed pissed. I confirmed that I was. She then apologized. I told her not to. I deserved it and she didn’t have to hold off if I’m not in the mood.

Actually, this was a watershed event. I was punished in the truest sense of the word. Mrs. Lion found me breaking a rule. She punished me without being concerned if I wanted to be punished. I think that is a true step forward. I’m not claiming I like it. I don’t; not one bit. I would much prefer to be punished when I am in the mood for it. But that isn’t part of the deal.

There was no buildup and no foreplay of any kind. This was real. It was fair and I respect her for acting the way she did. Good Work, sweetie!

Lion has been wild for months. Recently we’ve been in a sort of slump when it comes to playing. Between Lion’s allergies and both our aches, we haven’t really been living up to our female led marriage.

I’ve made a few suggestions about the cage but the other day I asked Lion if he thought the cage would jump start things again. He said he didn’t know but he didn’t have a say in the matter. Maybe not ultimately but I want his opinion. Yesterday I asked again. I got the same response. But he did add that he likes being wild.

I don’t run a dictatorship. We discuss things. At least I thought we did. Apparently we don’t when it comes to the cage. I know he’s looking for me to make a decision but I’d like some input. Absent that I will make a decision.

I’m aware that I am in charge and you’re probably yelling at the screen right now. “Lock him up! Lock him up!” We’ve already established that he doesn’t need to be caged to be faithful. (That was never an issue.) And he’s beyond the point of masturbating. So why cage him again? That’s what I want to know!

In the beginning the cage forced us (me) to put sex/intimacy/play in the forefront. Lion was helpless. Locked away in his ivory tower with no one to play with him. I vowed to unlock him at least every other day to tease him. Then it became every day. For years. And then he had surgery. The cage came off because life would have been impossible with it on. And it hasn’t really been back on for any length of time.

So now I’m wondering if the original intent of the cage is still valid. Would it force me to play with him or would it just be a giant pain in the ass? Well, pain in his balls. But pain in my ass. And I’m not getting any real input from Lion which makes me wonder if he’s willfully being silent in hopes that I’ll slap the damn cage back on just to spite him. Reverse-reverse-reverse psychology.

On the way out to my truck this morning I was thinking about locking him up again. But now I’m thinking about leaving him wild. Clearly I’m still undecided.

Yesterday, I wrote about my feelings that this blog is starting to not meet my needs. It’s been feeling like a black hole that sucks my efforts with no return at all. In response, Schnoff, a fellow blogger wrote:

“In the end, I think a blog has to have value to the writer, maybe in clarifying thoughts, or as a journal to come back to. If it then also has value to some people reading it, that’s a great bonus.”

He has a point. Magazines, for example, don’t measure their success by counting letters to the editor. They look at circulation and advertising revenue. The number of readers is the driving force in the publishing world.

This is a reasonable standard for any publication. I consider the Journal a publication. As such, it is successful. Lots of people read our words. My expectation that I would have lots of sparkling conversations with readers didn’t quite pan out. I’m not sure what I expected, but it’s not what turned out happening.

On the other hand, I have had some great exchanges with bright, thoughtful readers like Schnoff. I love that. My running conversation with Mrs. Lion is responsible for what success we’ve had with our power exchange. This blog is our principal tool.

Schnoff is right that ultimately the reason to do all this is that it fills some need of mine. Is my dissatisfaction based on not getting enough ego stroking? I sure hope not. I think it is what Mrs. Lion said, I don’t feel that I have much to say since not much is happening.

Maybe.

In any case, enough whining.

Now that my health is back in order, Mrs. Lion plans to make up for lost time. I’m sure we will have a great deal to write about.

I’m still here on the blog. I hope you keep reading.

Lion is not sure he wants to go on writing the blog. I suggested maybe he could stop writing every day. Perhaps once a week would work out better for now. He doesn’t often have anything to write about and feels it may be because we’ve been slacking off lately. I suggested his wearing the cage again as a way to get us focused. I don’t think he really wants that but he’s willing to consider it.

As I’m writing this I’m thinking Lion is saying that I haven’t been consistent. However, it’s been his allergies that have stopped play most recently. I’m sure neither of us is really pointing a finger at the other but I can see how those feeling might be in the back of our minds.What we need to do to combat those feelings is get back to basics. I guess that’s why I suggested locking him up again.

Whether or not I banish Mr. Weenie to the Jail Bird, I do need to be more consistent. Even on nights that I don’t feel well I can shove a butt plug into Lion. I can make him move over to snuggle with me instead of me always moving over to snuggle with him. I do have options available to show him who’s boss. On the other hand, if he’s the one who is in pain or itchy, I don’t really want to subject him to anything. I don’t even want to suggest that he’s in trouble for not wanting to play. That’s not what our power exchange is all about. First and foremost we care about each other.

Yesterday we didn’t play but by nighttime I was feeling well enough to tease Lion. I edged him several times and then I surprised him by giving him a full hand job. At the time he had no idea how long his wait had been. He thought it was only three days. Nope. Five. His previous wait had been four days. Perhaps the next will be six. I haven’t decided yet. And I don’t think I’d tell him if I had decided. I like the element of surprise. I think he does too.