By:
In: Edging, Lion's Journal

Our recent discussions about how long I should wait between orgasms has triggered a conversation between Mrs. Lion and I. I expressed a desire for longer wait times. This is motivated by my recent thinking about how much fun edging is. When I get to ejaculate, there is a period when I am not as horny as I am now. This isn’t surprising. I’ve used that as a reason to keep the edging going longer. I’m not entirely sure that’s right.

Yes, it’s a reason. But it isn’t all that convincing. I don’t think I have a good reason why I asked to lengthen my wait. But there is a reason.

It could be that edging and waiting is a sort of sexual sport. No, I’m not crazy. Hear me out. My penis is the, um, ball in this game. Mrs. Lion stimulates it as close as she can to triggering me to ejaculate. She repeats this activity many times in a session. I am left in a horny puddle when she is done. Every day this is repeated without allowing me to ejaculate, my desperation to finish increases. At the same time, I feel a perverted sense of pride in my ability to withstand day after day of this sexual torture.

It’s fun, of course, to be masturbated repeatedly. The sensations are extremely strong. But the last notes of the sexual symphony don’t get played. Think of the children’s chant, “Shave and a haircut, two bits”. You know the pattern; dah dah dah dah dah…..dah dah. It always feels odd and a little uncomfortable when someone just does the first part and leaves off those last two beats. Many people complete it in their minds; some do it out loud.

Well, edging is the first part without those last two notes. Because the sexual stimulation triggers deep-seated, instinctual reactions, it’s impossible to become immune. I want those last two notes! Each day and each edging within a session makes me want the comfort of the conclusion more and more.

So where’s the game?

For Mrs. Lion there is a continuing challenge to control my sexual reactions to her stimulation. I don’t always reach the edge of orgasm after 300 strokes or a thousand. She is challenged to read my responses and force me to believe that this is the time. Even though I know she won’t let me finish, my reptilian brain is sure I will ejaculate. I can’t help but tense myself, ready to fire. Mrs. Lion watches all this and knows that she wins again.

For my part, I have to rationalize this frustration as part of something I truly want. I’m challenged to help Mrs. Lion make things worse for me. My role is to encourage her teasing and help her extend my wait. It becomes a sexual game of chicken. Will I be grateful when she lets me ejaculate, or could I have happily gone more. She keeps driving me toward that brick wall of orgasm denial. I wonder if I will crash or finally break through. When I crash, yet again, can I encourage her to have another go?

I’ve encouraged her to add a “bonus” to the opportunity to ejaculate. I think of it as the price of that ultimate pleasure. Post Orgasm Torture (POT) is one way for me to pay. Another, is uncomfortable BDSM play as part of the session. Of course, to prevent me from being able to predict when I get to come, Mrs. Lion provides the painful play when I end up without ejaculating.

Let’s face it, this isn’t serious stuff. It’s supposed to be fun in very different ways, for both of us. I think we both can honestly say we are having a good time. By the way, there is a new feature on the right column of the blog. I’ve added a graph of my orgasms and waits between them. Another way I can tell Mrs. Lion is having more fun is that the trend is for longer and longer waits. I just hope Mrs. Lion doesn’t get too carried away. Play Ball(s)!

Postscript:
After Mrs. Lion previewed this post, we talked about her thinking (which, of course is the law) on my waits. Her response set me aback,

“You can make it at least 21 days, can’t you?”

“I suppose I can.”

I’m not at all sure I want to. But, of course, that’s completely beside the point.

By:
In: Edging, Mrs Lion Comments, Orgasm denial

Without a definite date in mind, Lion and I have decided to do an experiment. Yesterday I posed the question wondering if Lion would lose interest over time and, if he did, would he get it back again if I made him wait. I don’t think we want to go for a record wait but it is an interesting question.

At the very least, we’re on our way to a two week wait. Lion’s longest wait was 21 or 22 days. I have no plans to give him an orgasm any time soon. However, I’ve been pushing my luck a lot. I figure it’s only a matter of time before I go too far. Poor Lion has been a giant puddle when I’m done edging him. Mr. Weenie has been very hard. The Lion weather has been set to tropical heat wave for days. He’s chomping at the bit.

So we’re starting off our experiment with a very horny Lion. At some point I assume the Lion weather will cool off a bit. I have no idea how long that will take. We’ll have near-daily edgings with a certain amount of play along the way. We’ll proceed as usual. If the Lion weather does cool, I’ll see if I can heat it up again.

I guess the problem would be if he cools off and I can’t get him reheated. What then? I don’t really expect him to get all the way down to freezing. At some point in the cooling process we’ll determine if he’s not getting any warmer and maybe we should hit reset. I’m hoping an orgasm would restart the process. At the very least we’ll have our answer.

It may be an interesting experiment but it will make for a very frustrated Lion. I think he’s up for the challenge.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Ruined orgasm

The male orgasm is much more complex than it may seem. I started thinking about some of the ways it’s perverted, like the so-called ruined orgasm. There has to be more than stimulation, orgasm/ejaculation. Otherwise, ruined orgasms couldn’t happen. So, I did some research and here’s what I learned.

There are three stages in male orgasm. The first is arousal. That’s when the penis gets erect and excitement slowly grows. At some point, things start to become inevitable. This phase is called emission. Once stimulation drives the male into this phase, it’s too late to stop things. During emission, sperm and the other components of semen flow to a structure at the base of the penis, the urethral bulb. It forms as a result of erection. Semen is deposited here during emission. As the bulb swells to two-to-three times its normal size, it signals “I’m ready.”

At this point, a set of muscles around the bulb contract and out comes the semen. The actual activity is significantly more complex, but you get the idea. As the semen is forced upward in the penis, the PC muscles, the same ones exercised when clenching the anus, contract sharply. This gives the semen a burst of energy that makes it spurt from the penis.

The emission phase of the orgasm takes about 3 seconds. The actual orgasmic sensation is believed to be triggered when the PC muscles contract.  The process continues with refilling the urethral bulb and emptying it until the body exhausts its supply of the various ingredients.

First of all, to my knowledge, there haven’t been any studies of ruined orgasms. They’re not in the typical sexual lexicon. The rest is my theory based on this reading. Based on my own experience, there is a point in the arousal process when entering the emission phase can’t be stopped. Remember, once emission starts (charging the urethral bulb), release of semen is inevitable. Since we know that emission is, at most, a three-second process, many of us can’t stop ourselves from entering at some point before it actually begins.

This pre-emission phase point of no return is clearly variable in me. It can occur ten seconds before emission all the way to only a second or so. Once stimulation passes that point, semen is coming out and the orgasm is “ruined.”

We know that the strong orgasmic feeling is triggered by the PC muscles contracting. We also know, that if penis stimulation is stopped close to emission starting, the PC muscles don’t contract strongly, if at all, and we don’t get that satisfying orgasmic sensation. That’s what makes a ruined orgasm. My theory is that there is a period of a few seconds (up to 10?) when if stimulation is stopped, emission will start. Stimulation can continue until emission begins. If it is stopped just as emission starts, semen will flow in about 3 seconds and most-if-not-all of the PC contractions won’t happen.

That means a ruined orgasm can occur before emission when arousal is so intense, the male will slide into emission without stimulation. It can also occur if stimulation goes right to the start of emission and stops. I’ve had both experiences. The second is much more of a “crash against the wall” feeling than the first. An orgasm can be “saved” if stimulation resumes during the early part of emission. There is enough time to get the PC muscles triggered in a more-or-less natural male orgasm.

Many men can have multiple ruined orgasms. This is pretty easy to understand. Since emission only fills, or partly fills the urethral bulb once before all stimulation stops, the contents of the bulb (or some of it) moves slowly up and out of the penis. The semen supply is not exhausted. Repeating the stimulation and stopping again prior to emission ending, lets more semen get into the bulb and drip out. Repeat until no more semen is left.

With all this in mind, my theory is that the best way to successfully ruin one or more orgasms is to masturbate the man at a steady, not-too-fast pace. Don’t increase speed as he gets more aroused. A steady pace of about 1-2 strokes a second is a good place to start. The key is not to increase the rhythm as he gets more aroused. Don’t let him speed you up by bucking. It will be easier to observe how aroused he is. It will also slow down his ability to push himself toward orgasm. When he appears close. Stop stimulating him and wait ten seconds. No, semen? Return to the steady rhythm and pause again.

After he calms down and most of the semen has dripped out, resume the strokes at the same rate. Keep them up even if he starts to get soft. If he has any semen left, he will harden again. It won’t be as hard as the fist time, but he will get hard and in due course, experience another ruined orgasm. The key is to catch him early enough so that emission doesn’t have a chance to really fill the urethral bulb.

That’s what I think is going on. What is your experience?