By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal
angry lioness
It’s tough to know how to handle real anger when you are the dominant partner.

One of my fantasies about how our power exchange would work out was that Mrs. Lion would punish me when I made her angry. No, I didn’t expect her to do it while she was massively pissed off. I expected her to save it until she was calm and then relive it as she spanked me. I wanted her to have a way to vent her anger and frustration in a way that would allow me to get the import of correcting my ways.

We started out with simple rules: waiting for her to eat first, not spilling on my clothes, and asking before leaving the room. I was also not to interrupt, something that truly annoys her. I’ve observed that the closer to the core her upset is, the less likely I will hear about it. Generally, she just gets quiet and I have to pry my offense out of her.

I get it. When something is upsetting on a deep, personal level it’s hard to take the risk of exposing it. What if it’s unfair to be upset? What if I won’t accept the revealed feelings? There’s a lot of risk there; or at least it appears there is. I think that all of us share this reluctance to express anger from deep inside. I certainly feel that way. It took years for me to even start to be willing to let those feelings out.

Then I come along and ask her to not only let me know when I upset her, but also to punish me. That’s really asking a lot. Too much, actually. I realize that and I don’t expect her to do that. But it does leave a problem. Where is the line between punishable anger and the kind of anger that needs a quiet talk, not a spanking?

This is one of those issues that can cause a partner to give up on a power exchange. I wanted Mrs. Lion to use her role to express the kind of anger that she suppresses. How naive of me. It’s going to take a lot more than an agreement to dominate me to help her express those deep feelings. In fact, I’m convinced that she will never spank me for one of those issues. I don’t think she should. I do hope she will talk to me about them as her equal and husband. I think that would help us get closer.

On the other hand, I think it is reasonable to expect her to punish me for things that piss her off. Maybe she shouldn’t do it while still angry, but she should do it once she calms down. We started out with punishment for me spilling food on my shirt. This offense isn’t important to her. It’s just an excuse to practice punishing me. It worked. If I get any visible food on my shirt I am punished severely. I expect it and accept it.

It may be time to step up the practice. The objective is to connect annoyance with retribution for me. It’s difficult for her to decide what annoyance to punish me for. It makes sense. So, in the same spirit that we used with the spill-on-shirt offense, I propose that anything that upsets her is punishable. This doesn’t mean I have to do it. If something pisses her off, it comes out of my hide.

The value of this exercise, beyond more punishment practice, is that Mrs. Lion learns on a deep level to associate annoyance with punishment for me. Just like with the shirt spills, after a while she will be able to punish me for anything I do to upset her. Yes, for a while, it will be unfair. That’s fine with me. The goal is worth the pain.

There is another lesson in this. Perhaps my lioness will learn to find stress release in spanking me. Right now, she says that she is concentrating on technique to get anything out of the exercise. She probably needs more practice to feel comfortable that she is properly beating me. When it becomes second nature, maybe I can provide her with some stress relief. I would like that.

 

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments, Spanking
spanked lion
This wasn’t taken last night, but it gives you the general idea.

Lion made a sexy little paddle. He put “Hers” on the handle and “His” on the business end. It’s a duplicate of our kitchen paddle which we also got for the camper. I thought it would be interesting to hang it just inside the doorway. I also thought it should say “the Enforcer” or words to that effect. Lion suggested something that would make it evident whose rules were being enforced. I think it looks great. But how does it feel?

Last night I tested it out. Granted, he wasn’t due any punishment and I wasn’t feeling particularly well, but I figured I could muster enough swats to put the paddle through its paces. Lion suggested OTK since it’s a small paddle. That required going into the living room since we haven’t figured out how to do it on the bed yet. He gave up on the idea when he saw the face I made. He didn’t want to dampen my already diminished enthusiasm for swatting him. He knew I didn’t feel well and wasn’t going to push his luck.

It didn’t take long at all for Lion’s buns to turn bright rosy pink. I was surprised. It’s not a very heavy paddle. I started out slow as I have been lately. I swatted all around his cheeks to get him warmed up. I snuck a few harder swats in here and there. If I had meant business I’m sure he’d have bruised easily with it. I ended with some harder swats that left Lion yelping a little. He said it stung for a while afterward.

We now have a formidable and stylish camper paddle for those times that Lion just can’t help himself while we’re away. I may just suggest we do the same treatment to the kitchen paddle. The only difference is that the kitchen paddle has a greater chance of being seen by others. I’m not sure how dangerously Lion wants to live.

[Lion – I’m game. But then you already knew that. I’ll get more vinyl letters and get to work]

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Reviews
new spanking paddle
We’ll hang this where guests can see it.

In a recent post I created the image of a paddle that had “HIS” on the business end and “HERS” on the handle. It is a good symbolic way to describe our relationship. I decided that this image should come to life. Consider it. We could hang this paddle where guests could see it. Vanilla people would ask what it means. We can jokingly reply that Mrs. Lion is the boss. The visitor will see the humor.

If the guest is kinky, the paddle will act as a secret signal that we might be too. A joking question like, “Do you spank him with this?” could prompt an equally light answer of, “When he’s naughty.” See? a secret signal.

small oak paddle
7.95 oak paddle from Paddle Trams.

Unfortunately, you can’t buy this paddle. Well, you can get the oak paddle for $7.95 USD from Paddle Tramps. What you get is a beautifully smooth oak paddle that is a perfect size for over-the-knee spanking. Mrs. Lion loved the idea of actually having this paddle to hang in our camper or our home. So we took a field trip to the local craft store.

We found permanent-cement vinyl letters. We selected 1-inch black Helvetica. I would have preferred a slightly smaller letter, but this was the best we could do. We applied the letters to the paddle. On one side we have what you see in the image. On the other side, we put our real names in the appropriate locations. It wasn’t hard to do.

pour on epoxy
This is the high-gloss coating we used.

We thought that the letters wouldn’t hold on when exposed to spanking my butt. The paddle with just the stick-on letters also looked a little crude. We bought Pour On  high-gloss, epoxy finish. This is the stuff used to make those table tops with coins or pictures under the finish. The finish is not only very glossy, it is non-slip. That translates to the paddle “sticking” where it lands.

I used half of the 8 oz product. The process of applying the Pour-On is simple. However, you must follow the mixing instructions very carefully. This is a two-part product. Follow the mixing instructions to the letter. I used a piece of wire and hung the paddle from the hole in the handle. I used a disposable, 2-inch brush to apply the expoxy. I laid it on thick covering both sides and all edges. Be sure you have newspaper or something you don’t care about under the hanging paddle. A lot of the solution will drip off.

This product takes 48 to 72 hours to fully cure. I found that our paddle was usable after 24 hours. I’m sure it will continue to cure even though we are using it.

I’ve had a longstanding interest in creating something that would communicate our power exchange in a way that wouldn’t offend vanilla people who see it. I think this is perfect for that job, not to mention it is one mean paddle!

Review
Last night, after admiring the workmanship, Mrs. Lion took the paddle for a test whomp. She liked the weight and heft. She was concerned that the edges weren’t rounded and could somehow cause a problem. I didn’t notice them and Mrs. Lion didn’t see any marks they created. She remarked that I got pink very quickly. She likes the paddle and promises to use it.

From my perspective, I could feel the weight and sting from the smallest starting swat. This is definitely an effective tool. The weight and the non-slip finish contributed to making my butt hurt from only a few not-so-hard swats. As I sit at my desk writing this, I can still feel the sting.

Of course, the unfinished version of this paddle provided many really painful kitchen lessons over the years. When you consider that you can create this attractive, personalized paddle for less than $25 and it provides pain so efficiently, it is a true bargain. We have a large collection of paddles made from exotic woods like bloodwood. I wouldn’t have guessed that this simple, oak paddle could work better than most of them.

By:
In: Orgasm, Panties
ice cream cone
Lion is a complicated critter. Sure there’s some vanilla. But mostly there’s chocolate and a lot of nuts.

Lion wonders if we are just becoming a vanilla couple since we don’t often do things other than snuggle and he has sex of some sort. He wants me to take control and punish him and do things to him. I wondered if he would be complaining about vanilla sex while I was sucking him last night. I doubt it.

The things is, I think I am taking control by deciding when he comes out of this cage and what we do while he’s wild. And isn’t edging and wearing the cage in the first place pretty far from a vanilla thing to do? How many vanilla couples have rules and punishments? How many vanilla couples have the man wear panties? How many vanilla couples have a collection of paddles hanging on the back of the bedroom door?

I know Lion gets bored when “all we do” is snuggle and I “just” edge him. He should be happy he gets so much attention. He should be happy he gets unlocked as often as he does. Apparently, from what I’ve read in other blogs and comments to our blog, some men are locked away for weeks at a time. And some men have to wait a lot longer to have an orgasm. Lion is a lucky boy. [Lion – I’m lucky and I know it. I haven’t complained about being vanilla in ages. I love to snuggle with Mrs. Lion. I’m writing this while wearing a frilly thong. The power exchange is alive and well for me!]

Actually he was surprised by his oral orgasm last night. It’s only been three days since his last one. I told him I was looking to even the score between oral and hand orgasms. Most of his orgasms have been by my hand. But we both love oral orgasms. So I’m on a mission to move oral orgasms ahead. I’m sure Lion won’t argue.

After his orgasm I was looking for panties on my iPad. If his hip huggers fall down, he’ll need replacements. It’s too bad. Some of the hip huggers would have been fun to see on him. I suppose he can still prance around a bit for me in them. But I’m getting away from the point of my looking at panties. When Lion looked over and noticed what I was doing he groaned. Part of him “likes” wearing panties. Another part hates it. I’m pretty sure there’s another part that hates that he likes it. Lion is a complicated man.