Lion and I have a pattern. I get upset by something he does (or something I perceive he’s doing), I write about it, he feels bad, I feel bad, people comment on the post, he feels worse, I feel worse and then things work themselves out. I didn’t say it was a good pattern. Just a pattern.
I think I’m being clear when I acknowledge something Lion has said. He doesn’t. Last night we were talking and when I didn’t respond immediately he said I was not talking to him again. This time I fired back. He needs to give me time to get my thoughts together. Sometimes I stand up for myself. I need to make this a more regular occurrence. Not that Lion runs over me, but I do have a tendency to be quiet and not stick up for myself.
I’ve been having a frustrating time at work and I’ve often said that I can deal with work or home being difficult but I can’t deal with both being difficult. I don’t feel like I’m being heard at work no matter how many times I bring things up. Not being heard at home is even worse. Work isn’t going to get any better. I have the ability to make home better. And I will. At least I say now that I will. I’ll give it a good try, but my consistency is another problem.
See? The problem isn’t Lion topping from the bottom, and he hasn’t been. The problem is me. I let things bother me that are easily fixed with just the flick of a paddle. A few flicks. Not really flicks. Whacks. Good, bruise producing whacks.
You know, if I ever get my act together, Lion is in for a world of trouble.
[Lion – I am extremely anxious that Mrs. Lion does get it together. Maybe she can practice on our upcoming vacation. I would gladly trade a bruised butt and corner time for the way I feel when I also don’t feel heard.]