Play Vs Punishment Spanking

man being spanked

There’s been a lot of discussion here and on Julie’s blog, Strict Jule Spanks, about the general approach to practical female domination. Julie’s blog provides wonderful accounts of her adventures with her husband, David. In addition, she discusses how she thinks about what she is doing.

Initially, she mentioned that her approach is scene based. She doesn’t actually punish David for breaking rules. He wants to be spanked and humiliated and she likes to do those things to him. I want to be spanked and humiliated and want it in the context of FLR and domestic discipline where I am punished for breaking rules.

The net effect is the same. The motivation is a little different. When I’m punished, I know it is because I did something wrong, I’ve broken a rule. The punishments, if strict enough, actually make me watch my step; at least for a while. The spanking, which at this point is much milder than what Julie gives David, doesn’t feel to me like I am in a BDSM scene. I feel badly that I broke a rule and genuinely accept the pain I feel as just punishment for my crime.

This is a subtle-but-powerful difference from a scene spanking. The scene spanking ends when the top decides the bottom has had enough. Frequently, the bottom makes that call. A punishment spanking ends when Mrs. Lion decides she has made her point. I always want her to stop sooner. No matter when she stops, I know that I am paying for something I did wrong.

At the end of the scene spanking, I just know the spanking is over. I don’t really feel I’ve paid for anything. I’ve just enjoyed the beating I wanted. Even though in the punishment scenario, my beating is fully consensual, it doesn’t mean I agreed that moment to be beaten. The difference is that when I am punished, I understand there is a reason other than my request to be spanked.

A lot of people who are interested in domestic discipline believe that the actual spanking is different when it is for punishment. It isn’t  The goal is to provide pain that lasts a while. The spanking can be administered humanely with a warm up, or can just be hard swats from the start. The humane approach allows a much longer and complete beating. When done properly, I’m just barely able to handle the pain of each swat, but, I can handle it. The spanking goes from eight or ten very hard swats to hundreds of soft, medium, hard, and very hard swats. The spanking lasts a lot longer. I have much more time to feel the pain and consider my sins.

When I receive a play spanking, I focus on the sensations. I know it is a gift from Mrs. Lion. When I am punished, I focus on my sin and how sorry I am that I got into this position. The spanking feels completely different to me. Part of me wants Mrs. Lion to strongly make her point and not stop too soon. The cub in me wants to escape the pain as fast as he can. In the end, I want to feel I have made up for my transgressions.

What I’ve learned is that there is little difference between a punishment or play spanking in terms of the physical activity. There is a world of difference in my mind and hopefully, in the mind of my lioness when I am being punished.

There is one interesting fact about spanking that we sometimes forget: Spankings can always be painful. Even if, after time, you develop a “leather butt” and feel immune to the pain of spanking, your spanker can always spank longer and harder as well as use a more painful tool. Spanking never goes out of style for correction of naughty boys young or old.


  1. Author

    I’m not sure there is such a big difference. With david, our scenes are over when I say they are. Whenever possible I try to find an actual (usually minor and capricious on my part) “wrongdoing”. There is plenty of scolding and lots of “punishment extras” that go along with his spanking. I do not believe I am actually changing his behaviour. He may imagine what he wishes.

    1. Author

      Mrs. Lion is discovering punishment extras. So far we have mouth soaping and corner time on the naughty stool. We haven’t done a full play spankings in a while. I don’t know if Mrs. Lion will use extras with a play spanking. She, of course, decides when she stops. Baby steps.

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