Since Mrs. Lion has been “warming” me up, our spankings that once numbered in less than ten swats are now up in the hundreds. It’s true that the majority are rather mild, but Mrs. Lion builds up nicely as things go on. She spanked me on Saturday night. I had interrupted and had been snarky once. She began with light taps, building quickly to swats I could truly feel. As her spanking got more intense, I kicked my feet and begged her to stop. I asked her what I had done wrong. She told me and then resumed hitting my butt.
I begged her to stop and promised never to do it again (yeah sure). She kept on swatting. I tried to turn over and got a hard look. I turned back on my stomach. A few more swats and she stopped. I was actually sorry she stopped. I think we were getting into the territory when I would actually feel the catharsis I’ve heard about. She said she saw a bruise come up and decided I had enough. I am crazy to say this, but I hadn’t.
On Saturday, when we started the spanking, we tried with me over her lap. She sat on the bed and I was positioned on the bed so my butt was over her lap. She had to lean back a bit to accommodate me. When she started spanking me, it felt completely different. It was more intimate, somehow more intense and personal. It was humiliating. I don’t get any of those feelings when I lie flat on the bed, with Mrs. Lion standing over me. I didn’t expect that.
Unfortunately, her leaning-back position was uncomfortable for her. We went back to me lying flat on the bed. I suggested we could try the couch next time. Mrs. Lion was naked when she spanked me. I wonder how it would feel if she were dressed? She used her hairbrush paddle. That is a super effective tool. She also spread my cheeks and spanked inside my crack. This was a great addition. I think she needs to do more of it to get a lasting reaction from me.
None of this means she isn’t doing a great job. If anything, it means she is doing so well, I’m ready to try to go to the next level. Maybe we are off the punishment plateau.
Yesterday was our first serious foray into humiliation play. I spent the day in a pair of frilly panties. When she remembered, Mrs. Lion reminded me of what I was wearing under my jeans. I was surprised to discover how comfortable the panties are to wear.
This is very new to both of us. Mrs. Lion is starting to get her head wrapped around it. I am too. It seems to me there are two components to this activity. The first, of course, is to make me wear feminine clothing. The second, and perhaps more important, is to tell me how cute I am as a girl. This component, I think, is difficult for Mrs. Lion. The same sort of thing is largely missing from spankings; telling me I am a naughty boy/girl and treating me as a child.
Humiliation play and discipline are both psychological and physical. Both, in different ways, establish the power of the top. They also assert ownership. This aspect isn’t necessarily obvious. Punishment, in my view, should be both painful and humiliating A sore bottom does make a point. A sore bottom and a soapy mouth drives it home. A sore bottom, soapy mouth and a scolding and forced promises to be good, adds the psychological humiliation that emphasizes the power that Mrs. Lion has.
I’m not suggesting I always get my mouth soaped. It probably should have been on Saturday. I am suggesting that I need something after the spanking to force me to consider what I have done. Generally, I get spanked and then turn on the TV and the evening goes on. My focus is only briefly aimed at my misdeeds.
Forced cross dressing, for me at least, is a way to make sure I know who is in charge. I’m never going to learn to like wearing female clothing. If, for example, I am always required to wear panties, I will forget they are there until I need to go to the men’s room. I have to unbutton and zip down the fly to make room to get my cage and balls out. There is a danger of discovery. If I am wearing panties, they will be very visible, especially if they are pink or some other color associated with female undies. That can never feel routine for me. I’ve had the fantasy that one morning I will open my underwear drawer and find my regular underpants are gone and panties there instead. Or, I find all my underwear missing and a pair of panties spread out on the bed.
We have both characterized the next version of my lioness as 2.0. She has always been attributed with the ability to spank to tears and do things to me without regard for my enjoyment of the activities. 2.0 is a strict dominant. One thing we never discussed was how 2.0 would talk to me; how she would use words to reinforce her domination. I don’t think Mrs. Lion and I have talked much about this at all. It’s come up after I read a post by a dominant female who “scolds” and uses some demeaning terms to put her submissive male in his place. It’s never been anything 2.0 would do.
Part of the reason this has never come up is that I’ve failed to bring it up. It isn’t that I haven’t thought about, even fantasized about Mrs. Lion treating me this way. I have. It also scares me. It will, I think, force me to understand my new role. It’s the same thing with cross dressing. I’m taken out of my normal comfort zone and forced to live in another one created by my lioness. I am not easy to tame. I know it is best if I am submissive and obedient and recognize my role. But I don’t want to do it. I have to be trained. I’ve asked for this because it is the right thing for me. It isn’t necessarily what I want. I have to be taught.