Happy Independence Day 2017

It’s Independence day here in the US. It’s the day we celebrate declaring that we are a federation of states no longer part of the British empire. It’s ironic that many of our readers want anything but independence.

We, as a nation, wouldn’t submit to the crown. We, as submissive males want nothing more than to submit to a strong partner. It’s more than a little ironic that we fought for our individual freedom, only to surrender it to our mates.

It’s different, of course. Our submission is consensual. I want Mrs. Lion to take charge. I had to work hard to convince her that I truly want her control. For her, it’s a role she never sought and even now, finds uncomfortable. When it comes to power, we have an uneasy balance that is far from resolution.

It all seemed so easy, even natural, when I imagined how things would play out. Mrs. Lion would take sexual and social control. I would have no sexual stimulation that she didn’t provide. That part has been pretty easy for us both. We’re in our fourth year of enforced chastity.t

What’s proven much more elusive is non-sexual power exchange. Mrs. Lion feels burdened by making everyday decisions, like what’s for dinner. We’ve worked that out. We take turns deciding; well, I don’t exactly decide, I suggest. If Mrs. Lion likes the idea, which she always does, that’s what we have for dinner.

I can’t think of having to handle any non-sexual no’s. Mrs. Lion is very accepting and agreeable. It’s a wonderful quality in a life partner, but perhaps less-than-desirable for her role.

We haven’t figured out how to begin training me in this part of our lives. Mrs.Lion got quite a few suggestions on how to deal with my upset over losing our ability to watch satellite TV on our vacation. She understands how important TV is to me. But still, shouldn’t she have been able to get me under control by wielding her power?

The obvious answer is yes. But the obvious answer is rarely the right one. Control on a level sufficient to manage such a serious upset takes a lot of time to build. That’s where we are stuck. We haven’t been able to translate our sexual success to day-to-day life; at least, not yet.

On this celebration of American freedom, I am pausing to reflect on what a luxury we have in being able to treat loss of freedom as a positive marital move. If we lived in an oppressive society, the idea of submission to another person as a voluntary, positive act would be unthinkable. Only in the fresh air of a free society can someone like me actually want another to take control of me. Perversion flourishes in a free society. Perverse, isn’t it?


  1. Author

    Sometimes I wonder if I am nuts to want my wife to control me. I am stubbornly independent yet crave for her to own me body and soul.
    We have enjoyed her sexual control of me, but like you, we have not extended that too much to controlling me non sexually. There are times that she asks me very nicely to do a little thing for her and it nearly irritates me that she does not just tell me to do it.
    She does make some efforts, simply handing me things to put in the fridge without asking me to do so, intentionally leaving all the dishes for me to do. Progress is very gradual, but is happening.
    I wonder sometimes if the day will come that I regret having requested that she take control. As fulfilled and happy as it makes me now, I do not think I will. Happily perverse.

    1. Author

      I think we all wonder if we are crazy to do this, yet we persevere.

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