Mrs. Lion tends to misunderstand why I ask her to read something I find interesting. We have very different tastes in how we spend our down time. She will spend hours on Facebook reading and viewing stuff reposted by a large number of people. That’s fine. It’s entertaining. My reading is more directed. I tend to look for material that provides information about a subject that interests me.
When I come across a blog post or article I think she might find useful, I suggest she take a look at it and I email her a link to access it. If the suggested reading material is about enforced chastity, FLR, or domestic discipline, she very reluctantly reads what I suggest. I think I understand what’s going on. She takes my suggestion to read something as a criticism of the way she is doing things. She thinks that I want to “educate” her in the way I think we should proceed. She’s half right.
I generally ask her to read things that either turn me on or seem like a fresh point of view about what we are doing. In some cases, I would like to try what we read. So, in that sense she is right. But, I never use my reading suggestions as a sideways effort to tell her she is either doing something wrong or missing something I think we need. That’s never the case. I will tell her if I think she should consider something different. In some cases after we both read something, I ask her if we could try it. But I never imply she is somehow deficient in her leadership or technique.
It seems to me that when we read something, we process the information differently, particularly when we read about others who share our power exchange. When I read a post or article, I either put myself in the writer’s shoes and try to learn how it feels to experience what I am reading, or I make mental notes because I am getting good information. Sometimes I do both. I don’t compare myself or my actions with the writer’s.
When Mrs. Lion reads the same piece, I think she compares herself with the subject of the item. Is she not spanking “correctly”? The writer is obviously much better at it than she. Or, “Does Lion want me to do that? I don’t think I can. I’m letting him down.” In fact, that never occurred to me. I probably thought it might be a good idea to try this new approach. It simply never occurs to me that she is doing something wrong.
As a result of this difference, I rarely suggest reading material to her and she never goes off to find things on her own. I think we are poorer for this. I don’t think it is reasonable for her to take on the task of “inventing” FLR and domestic discipline on her own. Though I have to admit she is doing a great job.
Reading an article doesn’t mean you have to adopt what it advocates, just consider it information that perhaps could help us move along. I think that if somehow we could both read some of the same material, it would foster great conversations and perhaps transfer the role of innovator, from me to her.