As you might have observed from our recent posts, we are trying to move things forward in our power exchange. This is exposing some very basic differences in the way we think. Just as Women Are From Venus, Men Are From Mars pointed out, men and women have very different communication styles. This is glaringly obvious with Mrs. Lion and I. I am a problem solver by profession. I don’t understand why someone would just vent about a problem without wanting my help finding a solution.
Mrs. Lion frequently wants to blow off steam and doesn’t me to provide any lion solutions. In her most recent post, she suggested that I get a visit from her paddle when I provide unwelcomed advice. Ok, how do I know when advice is welcome and when it isn’t? If Mrs. Lion doesn’t know herself for some time after we talk, won’t it be too late to correct me?. She’s a fair woman. So, the result of this quandary is that we have a hole in our domestic discipline, at least for now.
Maybe the solution – uh oh, here he goes again – is much simpler than either of us is making it. Perhaps, until we have a better idea, it should be spank first and ask questions later. Instead of worrying whether it is fair or not for me to know what is expected, just swat and discuss at a later time. This is the exact opposite of what Mrs. Lion does now.
The reason I think this makes sense is that her current approach almost always results in her being frustrated and me not being punished. I’m not saying I deserve a spanking for trying to be helpful. That’s entirely beside the point. I should be spanked because Mrs. Lion is annoyed and her impulse is to swat me.
The onus is being shifted to me. It’s my job not to piss her off. It won’t take too many painful lessons for me to learn that I have to adjust my style to be sure my pithy help is welcome. Neither of us will learn until we turn the proverbial tables on the way we currently handle these situations.
I realize that the net result of adopting this idea is not going to be pleasant for me. I’m willing to accept that. We’ve gone to the trouble of adopting this power exchange. I’ve accepted the cost of doing it. But, to no one’s surprise, that isn’t enough.
Maybe this idea isn’t the way to success. But based on what Mrs. Lion wrote, it seems to me that it may help us get off the proverbial dime. The cost is very low. I’m never going to hate her for being unfair by punishing me when I think I am right. Instead, I’m going to be much more careful to understand what she expects of me.
It won’t be easy for either of us. It’s just a suggestion. I’m not trying to fix something when venting is all that was going on. Honest, Mrs. Lion!