Better?

My thought process when going to work each day is that I can get a bunch of stuff done before I start to crash. Yesterday I was crashing almost immediately. Today, I’m “just” tired. That doesn’t mean I won’t crash later, but for now I’m hanging in there. When I got home yesterday, I snuggled in the bed and snoozed for a while. I managed to get in a perfect pocket of warmth under the blankets. Usually I’m too hot or too cold. I guess I was in baby bear’s just right bed.

Lion suggested pho for dinner. He’d been wanting it all week and we had plans to get some before I came home early. The broth is not as salty as wonton soup, which I love, but the warm soup and the veggies made me feel somewhat better. Lion takes such good care of me.

Unfortunately, I was not able to take care of him last night. He didn’t get any play time in. But he understands this cough. I took him about four weeks to get rid of it. Snuggling under the blankets or holding hands was good for both of us.

A few days ago, and they’re all blurring together since I don’t feel well, someone asked a question about my being a better woman because of FLR and domestic discipline. I promised Lion I’d try to answer the question when I got home. Well, I didn’t answer, but I’ve been trying to figure it out. I’m still not sure I have an answer. Better than what? Was I not as good before?

From the point of view of Lion wanting me to stand up for myself, I think I always had bursts of “greatness” from time to time. I just needed to be pushed to my limit before I put my foot down. I think I’m still more likely to yield to others, especially when I’m sick. Lion likes to defer to me more often now. Sometimes it just annoys me. I usually don’t really care what TV show we watch. If it’s something I don’t like, I can always ignore it. I usually don’t care what I eat. I used to eat pizza for lunch every day and if Lion wanted pizza, I’d eat it for dinner too. If I have to decide, I usually choose what I think Lion wants. When it’s not what he wants, neither of us win.

Anyway, I don’t think I’m any better or worse than I was before we started FLR and domestic discipline. For the record, I don’t think Lion is any better or worse either. We just are what we are.

1 Comment

  1. Author

    I’m sorry you and Lion have been suffering so long from this illness. I hope you get over it soon. Such things definitely interfere with life, the Universe, and everything (including playtime).

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