A Better Man

My post earlier today started some interesting conversation about the place of enforced chastity and domestic discipline in a marriage. One person encouraged me to avoid stopping Mrs. Lion from continuing to assume authority and disciplinary power because ultimately the control would make me a “better man.” I didn’t know that my quality as a man was in question. Better than what?

All too often, advocates of FLR, enforced chastity, and domestic discipline claim the practices produce better men. I guess that the underlying assumption is that all men are flawed beings in need of female control in order to become respectable members of the human race. Would it become a better world if all men are regularly spanked by their wives? Glib euphemisms. like becoming a better man are essentially meaningless.

I don’t think that any practice can be universally good. Every couple doesn’t really need to adopt FLR or domestic discipline to have a wonderful marriage. Mrs. Lion and I had a great marriage before we started any of this. We recognized there were some sexual communication issues we wanted to address. I did not introduce enforced chastity as a way to cure those issues. I just thought it would be fun and might get us back to being more sexual.

It did. It also opened the door to more physical intimacy and improved sexual communications. It is also very exciting to me. It’s worked so well that it is a permanent part of our lives. Am I a better man? Nope. I just can’t get through a metal detector. My moral outlook hasn’t changed. I like sex as much as ever. I love Mrs. Lion more than anything just the way i did before I got locked up.

FLR and domestic discipline are trickier topics. They sound as though they would turn our relationship upside down. They haven’t. I’m still the lion and husband. I still manage much of our affairs. My role has not changed. We have always had a partnership. Neither of us wants to change that. You might wonder what FLR has changed? Do we really have it?

Let me approach this from the another direction: domestic discipline. This is actually very similar to enforced chastity as far as I’m concerned. My fantasies about it were very sexual. I thought of it as a game. Do something “wrong”, get a consequence; in this case a spanking. Our initial activities were quite game like. The rules were trivial and I was bound to break them fairly often. The punishments were like energetic play spankings.

This changed over time. Enforcing the trivial rules taught Mrs. Lion to critically observe my behavior. It wasn’t long before she was calling out more serious breaches. She called me on interrupting her and when I turned her talking about her life into something about me. These are true problems of mine.

My reading  on the Web taught me that a punishment spanking is designed to be as painful as possible. It is nothing like a play spanking. I reported this to Mrs. Lion. She considered it carefully. My next spanking left me bruised and nearly in tears. Every spanking since then has been very painful. The less serious offenses get fewer swats, but each swat is very hard and hurts like hell.

Domestic discipline is no longer a game to me. I don’t get aroused thinking about being punished. Well, sometimes I do, but not very often. Mrs. Lion holds me to everything I am supposed to do. If I leave my training collar off when we go out, she punishes me. Spilling food on my shirt gets a spanking. Interrupting her provokes a bruising session.

So, I am held to account for my behavior. But, and this is important, it is only for things I do that hurt Mrs. Lion or myself. She is helping me improve. I suppose become a better man in that sense. The balance of power in our relationship has shifted, but only slightly.

My behavior is subject to review and discipline. But our relationship hasn’t become a mistress/slave, dom/sub situation. The changes are subtle. So, when I was asked if after all the sexual and behavioral issues are worked out if we will drop enforced chastity and FLR/domestic discipline, my answer is, no.

The reason we won’t is very simple: enforced chastity FLR, and domestic discipline provide lasting value for us. When all is said and done, I like being locked in a chastity device. I also still get that little twinge now and then about being punished. And, I do like play spankings. Actually, come to think of it, the reasons aren’t simple at all. Each of us gets separate value from the power exchanges. At least for now, we both want them to continue indefinitely.