Painful Growth

I’m 2,500 miles and three time zones away from my lioness. Only three weeks ago she was here with me. That was the best! It doesn’t matter where we are as long as we are together. Sitting in my room alone, munching chocolate chip cookies leans heavily on the pathetic side.

For the record, I’m fully healed and pain free from my paddlings last week. I know that some of our most faithful readers are a bit horrified that we practice domestic discipline; especially since the punishment has risen to the point of bruises. I’ve gotten a number of messages filled with metaphorical head shakes at our folly.

It’s far from folly. This isn’t another foolish experiment. It’s an extension of our enforced chastity power exchange. It’s working. Mrs. Lion is letting me know when I upset her. What’s more, she makes sure I understand that she is displeased and expects me to change immediately. This is new. It’s not easy for either of us. But from my perspective, it’s working.

I’ve been researching domestic discipline on the Web. After filtering out the obvious frauds, a pattern emerges. In the beginning, there is a lot of punishment. I’m not convinced it is provoked by particularly bad behavior. Rather, it’s “practice” at this lifestyle. It may sound odd, but both disciplining wife and her disciplined husband require considerable training to add physical punishment to a relationship.

I know. You’re wondering why people do this. I wondered too. But now that we are on our way, I have a much clearer view. Here’s what I think.

In most relationships there are situations where the behavior of one partner upsets the other. Most of the time, the feelings generated aren’t expressed. Over time they can build up and eventually come out in hostile, passive-aggressive ways. I could see that happening to us.

I tend to let my feelings out. I’m not a very subtle critter. Mrs. Lion, on the other hand, has spent her lifetime avoiding conflict. I’ve mentioned this before. Now that I’ve asked her to punish me for doing things she doesn’t like, and she’s agreed to do it, things have changed.

It’s taken over a year of  rehearsal, but we finally got where we need to be. We aren’t over the hump yet, but we are well our way. I think my last beating frightened Mrs. Lion a little. She will have to do some more before she gets over the fear and treats my reactions with the loving indifference I need.

She’ll get there. Meanwhile, I’m heading to bed alone. Poor lion.