Hard

When I’m not actually in the act of whomping Lion, he thinks I should hit harder. Last night I did hit harder. He was not a fan.

I hit him with the tenderizer paddle for his punishment swats. I selected that one because it has a fairly broad head and I can hit both cheeks at once if I want to. I wanted to. I don’t know how many swats there were. I did them one at a time, with some time in between for Lion to get himself together. I hit hard. Not as hard as I can, but still hard. I started out with the flat side of the paddle. I only used the tenderizer side for four swats or so. I don’t think either one of us expected the paddle to draw blood. I continued for a bit after Lion said he’d had enough. It’s not his call when enough is enough.

Afterwards, Lion was concerned that there was any blood, even when I said there was less coming out of his butt than there was coming out of a sore on my finger after my shower. It was painful to sit and he didn’t want to get blood all over the place. Painful was the point of the whole exercise and there wasn’t enough blood to get all over the place. He was positive he’d have bruises. He doesn’t. I think he likes to be dramatic. But what would happen if I did hit as hard as I could?

Certainly, with that paddle, there would be more blood. I’m fairly sure he would have some bruising. I’m positive he’d have a hard time sitting. But why would I want to go that far? What’s the purpose of hitting as hard as I can? That seems vindictive. I want to hit just hard enough to prove my point. Whether he feels it long-term or not is another matter. I want him to associate that infraction with the pain of a spanking and work hard to avoid it. I don’t want him to think of the spanking and resent me for going too far.

The bottom line (no pun intended) is that I’m walking a fine line here. I want to hit harder because he wants me to, but then I feel bad when he tells me how much it hurts. I know he has a tough old butt. That doesn’t help much when I know how much it stings.