So What?

Perhaps I was a bit too melodramatic yesterday. In my sleepy haze, I implied I was bored with teasing Lion. That’s not true. The past week has been tedious at work. Things that would not necessarily annoy me have sent me into a frenzy. There must be something in the water because others are doing it too. Could it just be the end of the year and the pressure to close out with all of our goals reached? Probably. The bottom line is that I’m not bored with teasing Lion. And I am certainly not bored with Lion.

Lion worked from home yesterday. His cold is still hanging on and if he can work from home, why shouldn’t he avoid the drive into work? I would if I could. I figured since he was home, it made sense for him to make dinner. I asked him what he wanted for dinner, suggested two choices of leftovers and stated that I did not feel like going out. That last part is new. Ordinarily I make up my mind I don’t want to go out and then Lion will suggest his favorite restaurant and I’ll feel bad because I don’t want to deprive him of his favorite restaurant and we’ll go out. Last night was the first time I let my feelings be known ahead of time. It was a long, exasperating week and I was just not up for the drive (or ride) to a restaurant. I wanted to be home, snuggled in bed and snoozing.

There was no surprise when Lion said, “Your wish is law, We eat at home.” Well, I didn’t expect those words. I just figured he’d either pick one of the leftovers or suggest something else. He chose one of the leftovers and I asked him to make rice to go with it. He said “yes ma’am” and I managed a “thank you my pet.” The night before I’d asked him to do something and I only said thank you. He wondered if he’d pissed me off because I hadn’t told him he was a good boy. He hadn’t. I just struggle with good boy and my pet. It sounds artificial. Sort of like calling a grown man a boyfriend. Ma’am even sounds weird to me. My immediate reaction is to call him sir, but I know that’s not what he wants.

Anyway, when I got home, Lion was snoozing. He had fallen asleep around the time I asked him to make rice. He struggled to wake up and said he was sorry. He’d make the rice then. That made no sense. I was already up. I made the rice. Now, the question is, should he be punished for not making the rice? I suppose in a rabid FLR I should have told him how disappointed I was that he fell asleep when he had a job to do. But it’s just rice. It’s not like he left a baby alone in a bathtub. It’s really no big deal. I made the rice. So what?

I know. I know. I took a giant step forward by demanding we stay home for dinner and then I dropped the ball completely by not being upset that he didn’t make the rice. Sorry. I have to take my baby steps in taking power. And I don’t see a loss of power with the whole rice non-fiasco. Shit happens. Move on. He’s been sick. He was tired. He fell asleep. I made the rice. Done.

[Lion — I’m glad Mrs. Lion didn’t get upset about the rice. I had no idea I would fall asleep. I was surprised when she got home and I woke up.]