Last spring I was interviewed for an article to be published in a leading men’s magazine. It remains unpublished. However, I am regularly contacted by the writer with additional questions about me and enforced chastity. I got another question yesterday. This one really got me thinking.
“A quick follow up question, which may sound kind of weird. Have you read Shel Silverstein’s “The Missing Piece”? If so, what do you think about it? Does it relates at all to your relationship with your wife?”
I never read the book, but found a Wikipedia entry that summarizes the plot. Shel Silverstein wrote this children’s book in 1976. The story is about a circle that has a wedge-shaped piece missing. The circle travels the earth looking for the missing piece. It finds it and is complete. But then the circle finds it rolls too fast to meet and interact with others. Allegorically, this story suggests that if one finds his “missing piece” that he changes and can’t be what he was before. He finds he was happier searching for the missing piece than actually finding it.
I think that the author’s point was that kids should be themselves and enjoy who they are. The circle was happier without fitting in by adding the missing piece. That’s a very 70’s concept. People were obsessed with being individuals and not changing to conform. I get it.
Obviously, I think the original premise of the book is absolutely valid in terms of my own life. I go my own way. I don’t worry about being like others in many ways. I don’t think I have a missing piece that would make me better. I like wandering through life at a pace that lets me try new things without concern about being judged. But then how does my relationship with Mrs. Lion fit into this picture? Does it complete my circle and stop from being who I was before?
We’re talking about a loss of individuality. I’ve surrendered sexual control to my wife. Am I now subsumed into her world? Have I lost the ability to explore my world and act as I wish? On the surface, it would appear that I have. I can’t enjoy any sexual activity without Mrs. Lion providing it. I’m locked in a device that doesn’t even allow an erection. That sounds like I’ve lost something.
I haven’t. Since I have been with her, I have never looked for a sexual relationship with anyone else. Yes, I masturbated when the need arose; but that’s it. So, masturbation has been taken from me. I can’t decide when I will have an erection, get my penis stimulated, and ultimately ejaculate. Sound like a big deal to you? It can be when I’m horny. Like other mammals, if sex isn’t available, I will be easily distracted and go on to other non-sexual activities.
Sexual submission on a 24/7 basis is, at worst, inconvenient. I lose a little sleep now and then when I really want sex. But that’s it. I don’t find myself becoming a fawning, housework-performing, foot-massaging submissive. I don’t try to earn ejaculation by becoming someone else. That stuff is the fodder of fantasies. You can’t live your life in that kind of state.
I got into enforced chastity because the idea turned me on. Ironic, isn’t it? I enjoy that Mrs. Lion has sexual power over me. It’s hot. I still go to work as a leader. I still make the same decisions at home I did before my surrender. I try to please my wife exactly the same way I did pre-chastity device.
On a larger scale, I think the concept that being “completed” by a soulmate somehow requires subsuming myself into her. I’m no longer able to stop and smell the roses. I have to “roll” without doing what I did before. That can be a mighty fear. But in my experience, the opposite is true.
Mrs. Lion and I don’t share many interests. That doesn’t mean either of us gives up what we like and want to do. Instead, we get to try things we would have never considered when alone. Some of those things turn out to be something we both enjoy. Others, not so much. Sure, like enforced chastity, being completed does mean I get less opportunities to do some things I did when single. It also means I get to realize longstanding dreams and fantasies.
I will do anything to make Mrs. Lion happy. That was true before our power exchange. She will do anything I want even though she is now in charge. It turns out that when grownups with fully formed personalities “complete” each other’s circle, they grow and find happiness in ways they never imagined before being together. We are both happier now than we have ever been before.
Did I answer the question?