Not As Easy As Enforced Chastity

Practicality has returned to my naked-at-home rule. I’m back to undressing in the bedroom and remaining dressed when we have something to do shortly after I arrive. I now realize that what I liked about the stricter rule that required instant stripping was that there was a sort of D/S flavor to complying. That’s a turn on. But, in terms of advancing our female led relationship, it was more of a distraction than a benefit.

Enforced chastity, particularly wearing a chastity device, has a bondage/BDSM flavor. That’s what got my attention when I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me up. It was really exciting. By the time the novelty wore off, we were both committed to my surrender. Over time, as Mrs. Lion wrote in her post yesterday, we’ve found enforced chastity improved our relationship.

By the time we decided to try a female led relationship, we felt very positive about the value of a power exchange. Unlike enforced chastity, FLR is not a simple, easy-to-define power exchange. The concept is simple, but implementation is much harder for us. We started with what we thought was a simple training  program to help us build habits that support FLR and domestic discipline. I got simple rules, like waiting for Mrs. Lion to eat before I started. Infractions earned a spanking. Our thinking was that if we got in the habit of obedience and consequences, other, less obvious areas of our lives would also fall into place.

Mrs. Lion is good at observing and punishing infractions. We’re successful at integrating those rules and punishments into our daily lives. It doesn’t seem to me that either of us has used what we learned to change the dynamic of our relationship. One possibility is that our longstanding power dynamic, partnership, continues to serve us very well. That doesn’t mean it can’t be improved.

I think we need to extend our agreement beyond simple rules to more significant surrender. The challenge is how to do this. What is the next relational baby step for us to take? I tend to think in black and white terms. For example, perhaps I should ask permission for everything I do. We discussed this. Let’s face it, we can’t do that. It takes too much time and energy. We agreed that approach makes no sense.

The obvious choice is to figure out some new, more important rules. Fair enough. But what should they be? If you expect me to reveal the new, master plan in this post, I can’t. We’ve had endless discussions about the next step. So far we haven’t come up with anything. Maybe we shouldn’t advance past simple, behavioral rules. Maybe what we have now is a perfect match to our skills and personalities. If that’s true, the power exchange can continue happily on a superficial level.

New rules won’t challenge our relationship dynamic. Instead they will be limited to a sort of lion “training”. This is not unlike dog training; basic obedience with no effort to change the nature of the animal. Worth a shot perhaps. What do you think, Mrs. Lion.

1 Comment

  1. Author

    Really like your site. Actually got my wife to read about me being caged which is a first. I have a cage and we use it on occasion as I want to be controlled. Like others I want the teasing and denying which seems hard to get her to do. I found a Webtease site and would like to try some of there chastity teases with her doing the same things to me but have not got her to agree. Augh….when I do wear it I get extremely horny
    , but cannot get her to do the part of keeping me aroused by her saying things texting me etc. Any suggestions? Finally having more open discussions though as I asked her to read your site about caging your man and talk about it while we were driving the other day which was a milestone. Hoping this can lead to a good experience. And both of us be happy. It’s been hard to get her to open up. She is the type that wants to be on the receiving
    end for example like me wants to be tied and teased. Thanks for the great site and sharing. I appreciate it and any suggestions would be appreciated.

What do you think?