Cause And Effect

Sunday night Mrs. Lion gave me an extended teasing session. I was truly tree-humping horny. According to the calendar, it was only six days since my last ejaculation; hardly long enough to explain such desperation. I was surprised at my need for release. Even though it was only six days since my last orgasm, Mrs. Lion gave me an oral release. She said the amount of semen was unusually large.

A week ago, I was also unusually horny. Could it be that I’m at a peak in my sexual cycle and that this extra semen production and my extreme arousal are just artifacts of that cycle? Could the cause be something external? One thing was different these last two weekends: the day I got the orgasm I was made to wear a diaper. The first occasion I had to wear one until I wet it and then was permitted to change into a dry one. This past Sunday, I had to wear a wet diaper until I needed to pee again and then was permitted to change just in time wet the new one.

I am not fond of wearing a diaper and much less interested in spending a day perpetually wet. If, in fact, the diaper wearing is responsible for my increased arousal, knowing Mrs. Lion, I can expect to spend considerable time wearing one. Even more troubling, I was much more aroused this Sunday than I was the week before. The difference, of course, was that I was constantly in a wet diaper this time.

It’s not that I get off sitting in a heavy, pee soaked diaper. It’s more that when I wore the dry one, I could forget it was there most of the time. The diaper felt like a pair of briefs. It only came to my attention when I had to wet myself.

This past Sunday wasn’t as terrible as it might sound. Modern, adult, disposable, briefs as they’re called, have a lot of technology built in. I never actually felt wet. The material in the brief moved the moisture away from my body. It also eliminated almost any scent as well. What I noticed was the extra weight and the size of the absorbent material. It grows as it works its magic on the pee. It was impossible for me to ignore that I had a diaper on even for a minute. Apparently that knowledge was very arousing to me. While the diapers were on, I wasn’t aware of any arousal, but I was constantly aware that she was responsible for me sit in the heavy, wet diaper.

I wonder if when Mrs. Lion cranks the experience up further it will turn me on even more. There are two ways she can make things more difficult. The first is to make me wear one until I pee twice and then wait until I need to pee a third time before I can change it. This will make the diaper even bigger and heavier. It will certainly make me do the bowlegged “cowboy” walk. It might also provide enough time for a slight pee scent to develop as well. If I get close to the capacity of the diaper I will probably feel wet too.

This isn’t very appealing at all. I suppose that’s why I get so turned on later. Mrs. Lion likes to remind me that diapers were my idea. Years ago I wondered out loud how it would feel to be made to wear one. At the time, it seemed like a good example of dominant control.

I’ve never had adult baby fantasies. I never considered pee, mine or anyone else’s, erotic. My thought was that I would quickly tire of the novelty of having to wear one and would realize that I couldn’t control anything, even as primal, as urination if my lioness cared to take charge of it. As I think about it, wearing and using a diaper is also an unmistakable symbol of my submissive role. It clearly tells me that I can be ordered to do something I don’t like and keep doing it as long as my lioness wants. That is erotic to me.

The fact that this elemental level of control has such a strong effect on me is something of a surprise. I really didn’t expect it. I figured that I would go along with it (I have no choice to not go along with it of course) and would get grumpy and tired of it quickly. I figured that after a day of wet diaper wearing I would have no interest at all in sex. I would just be cranky and tired. I was completely wrong.

This is one of those things I don’t think either of us expected. It’s also a sort of new category of activity for us. It isn’t a punishment; I get too turned on for it to be thought of that way. It may be a form of BDSM play for us. It’s different because Mrs. Lion doesn’t have to do anything other than tell me to get into a diaper and change it under whatever condition she wants.

So far, we have tried this for 8 or 9 hours at a time. We have also only tried making me sit in a diaper used only once. I have no idea what effect more extended wear or a wetter diaper might have on me. Years ago I tried sleeping in a dry one. It was difficult. I’m sure a wet one will be harder. But (I will hate myself for saying this) maybe the reason it was hard to sleep was that I needed time to get used to wearing it at night.

If the evidence that this practice really does something for me wasn’t so strong, I would expect that diaper wearing would be just one more infrequently used play activity in Mrs. Lion’s bag of tricks. But I have to admit I am curious to see just what the limits of this activity might be. Is there a minimum length of time I need to wait between sessions to maintain the excitement I apparently get? How many days and nights of wear will stop turning me on when all is done?

The biggest question I am asking myself is: Why does this do anything for me at all?