Don’t Spare The Rod

I’m leaving for the hot Southeast tomorrow. Today is my Big Day according to Mrs. Lion. I’m a bit under the weather again. However, I am very sure that it won’t get in the way come orgasm time. Before then, I have to get packed and ready to go. I wish Mrs. Lion could join me. It’s a place I know she would love to visit.

People who practice enforced chastity and FLR adapt what they do to suit their individual needs. I admit that initially, my suggestions for enforced chastity, FLR and domestic discipline were based on longstanding fantasies. What we actually do bears little resemblance to my fantasies. That’s fine since what we have works well for us.

Domestic discipline is relatively rare in enforced chastity/FLR relationships. It’s usually practiced in male dominant relationships, especially within some Christian groups. I imagine that’s because in the marriages that include this, the husband assumes the role of the strict, disciplinary father. Neither of us have childhood memories of strict, disciplinary parents of either sex.

This lack of history means that there is nothing to fall back on when practicing domestic discipline. We have to make it up as we go. That’s exactly what we have been doing. Now, after more than a year of this, I am convinced that it makes practical, good sense to include it in a female led relationship. There are two main reasons I advocate it: First, adding it to our relationship has required that we establish a pattern of authority that isn’t rooted in fantasy or BDSM. The second reason is that it is a concrete way for Mrs. Lion to assert her will.

The process of learning to incorporate domestic discipline in our relationship is still in a fairly early stage. We’ve progressed to the point that punishment, spanking in our case, is always painful and the intensity and duration are becoming less and less dependent on my reactions. That means the punishments are real and are becoming independent of how I feel about getting them. This is a work in progress. There are times I can influence Mrs. Lion. I think those opportunities are rapidly disappearing.

Mrs. Lion is not assertive by nature. Slowly, she’s learning to be more consistent. As she gains confidence, I expect she will become stricter as well. I’m not obedient by nature and I realize that while I’m never going to be submissive, I need practice obeying Mrs. Lion. Domestic discipline is perfect for this. If even a small slip earns a spanking, I will quickly learn. That doesn’t mean Mrs. Lion will turn into a demanding tyrant. It simply means that any hesitation or resistance to the things she wants me to do will be punished in a memorable way. Hopefully the punishment will be administered near the time of the infraction.

This process is working for us. It may be helpful for others. Domestic discipline requires focus on both of our parts. We are actively adopting our roles. More subtle ways of asserting authority can work, but I think that the true value of domestic discipline lies in the actual act of administering the punishment. It reinforces the commitment to Mrs. Lion’s authority. It isn’t fun for either of us. It isn’t supposed to be. But it is a graphic message neither of us can ignore. I’ve noticed that when Mrs. Lion pays closer attention to my behavior and I get more frequent spankings, that unrelated parts of our relationship run more smoothly. That painful punishment doesn’t just educate me, it makes sure we are both focused on our FLR.

The simple fact is that at this point in our relationship, it isn’t that important how big or small the offense. What counts is that Mrs. Lion’s paddle doesn’t gather any dust for now. Each time she uses it, we both learn a little more about FLR.

3 Comments

  1. Author

    As our relationship is still far more fledgling than yours our discipline is a little more hit and miss. Since I was last punished I have probably earned 80 smacks at least. I’m not sure my wife is even aware of all of those infractions. And the main one that she caught me at she has let me off because of good behaviour. Like you I want consistency. In time it will come–I hope!

  2. Author

    I’m curious, what are you typically feeling after one of these punishment spankings? Do you get quiet and withdrawn? Do you feel more or less connected to your wife? Do you feel grateful or resentful? They sound intense and rough, and I’m really interested to know what your headspace is like after enduring one of them. I feel like I’d be quiet and withdrawn and would want to be alone for quite a while.

    1. Author

      That’s a great question. I don’t have a strong emotional reaction. Mostly, I’m glad it’s over. I have to catch my breath and I quickly roll over onto my back. I don’t want to encourage an encore. There is a rule that I have to thank Mrs. Lion for the spanking. I think I forgot last night. That will earn me another one. I generally don’t feel very thankful at the time. But I say it.

      I don’t want to withdraw. I feel closer to her and we often hold hands or hug after she returns to the bed. Most of my spankings are with me face down on the bed.

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