Lion isn’t feeling well. He has a cough that may be progressing into a head cold. It isn’t as bad as the Black Death we had in March, but he’s down for the count. I told him to stay in bed today. Let’s see if he listens.

As Lion said, we haven’t been doing any playing. I’ve been taking my cues from him and he hasn’t seemed to want to for a while. I figured it had something to do with the job. He is very excited about it, but he’s also nervous. He’s worried about all the new things he’ll have to learn in a short amount of time. Although he’s read tons of material about the company, he really doesn’t know anything about the day to day operations of his particular area. He’s afraid he won’t be able to hang onto this job. He doesn’t want to disappoint me. That’s a lot to have on your plate. It’s understandable if he doesn’t want to play. And now he has the added “bonus” of not feeling well.

The one thing Lion does not have to worry about is disappointing me. If the job doesn’t work out, we’ll move on to the next thing. What is that? I have no idea. But we’ll figure it out. If he’s too sick to go on our trip this weekend, it’s no big deal. It’s more important that he feel better. It may sound sappy, but we stick together through thick and thin.

This may make for boring reading when you came here looking for talk about female led relationship and enforced chastity. I assume you’re also here for the way a real couple makes its way through the day to day of FLR and enforced chastity. Well, sometimes there are stumbling blocks along the way. Real life is rarely as exciting as the fantasy blogs. Sooner or later we’ll get around to playing again. I’m assuming it will happen once Lion gets through the first week jitters.

Since unlocking him for our trip, Lion has remained wild. We were only going to be home for a few days before the next trip so I figured he could be wild. He’s had enough orgasms that he shouldn’t be tempted to cheat. And now that he’s sick, it’s probably one of the last things on his mind. He also has the first day of work coming up and a plane trip for which he will have to be wild. If we don’t go camping this weekend, I’ll lock him up again for a few days.

I suppose I could put my foot down and insist that we not go anywhere this weekend so he can recover from his cold and be well rested for his job. I do have that power. I just don’t want to put the brakes on the trip if Lion is really looking forward to it. This is when I feel like his mother. “I know you want to go to Johnnie’s birthday party, but don’t you want to be well enough for your championship soccer game on Tuesday?” In the overall scheme of things, it’s more important for him to be ready for work than to go camping again. We’ll have to discuss it tonight.

Monday night was wonderful. It’s been many months since Mrs. Lion rode me.  It was amazing. It always is. I spent all day yesterday at home. I am totally sick of this routine. It’s a good thing that I start my new job in just six days. I only have to be home alone two more days. Then, we are off on another weekend trip.

My view of FLR/FLR has matured over the last months. When we started, my thoughts focused on domestic discipline and punishments I would earn. Over time the idea of being punished lost its luster. I don’t fantasize about being spanked. I do my best to avoid those swats. As Mrs. Lion grows into her role, my enthusiasm wanes. Is it natural we seem to be moving in opposite directions.

It’s not that the two of us are moving apart; not at all! I suppose it could be a classic case of “be careful what you wish for.” I don’t think so. I don’t fear my lioness and her authority. I’m just not very excited about it right now. I suspect that I’m just tired. Even though I interviewed for my new job in mid-May, it took until ten days ago to finally let me know I’m hired. The wait has taken a lot out of me. I suppose it is natural to lose enthusiasm about many things under that kind of stress. I still feel the stress even though I know I have the job. I’ve lost my interest in BDSM play as well. I’m not sure what I want. I suppose it’s natural to go through periods like this. I don’t know. It’s not that I’ve lost interest in sex and orgasm. I haven’t. It’s the “other” stuff.

I think Mrs. Lion sensed this. She’s been great about not pushing BDSM play. She’s also been wonderful about keeping up our FLR even if there is no play. I’m very grateful for that.

Lion wonders why I didn’t say, “We’re not leaving.” the other day. Perhaps it was baby steps. Perhaps he did have a choice. He could have left. I would have figured out how to get home. My point was that I was not going to leave just because he wanted to leave. It was my line in the sand. It was for him to decide if he’d leave me or not. He decided to choose wisely.

I wish the same were true of last night when he decided to interrupt me. He was listening to the news and I started to say something. Before I got half a sentence out, he interrupted. And it just proved he hadn’t heard anything I said because the first part of my sentence was “I’m not saying X happened, but….” And then he proceeded to tell me that X didn’t happen. Um…I know. That’s what I said. When I told him I didn’t want to continue my thought he got upset at me. He got upset at me. How does that work?

A few minutes later, Lion announced it was punishment night. I told him it was a good thing because he had something on his list. And yes, I know, I should have whomped him when it happened. We were in the kitchen and the paddle was right there. But I think if I had started whomping at that moment I might not have stopped until he had blisters. As it was, when I did swat him, it was very hard and he rolled over a few times. Finally he rolled over and told me he was done. In his defense, they were very hard swats. In my defense, they needed to be. And since he ended the punishment early, he will get more swats tonight. I doubt those swats will be as hard, but there will be more of them. Luckily, he remembered to thank me for the punishment.

Lion is fortunate that I didn’t let the punishment stop me from the rest of the night’s activities. I knew he was horny. I suppose I could, at some point, tell him we’re not playing on a certain night because he pissed me off and that’s his punishment. But not last night. I had other plans for him. Even though we haven’t been playing, I decided he needed another orgasm. And he was going to get it with me riding him. That is his most favorite position to have an orgasm. We both love when he comes inside me.

I’m not really sure how many orgasms Lion has had at his all-you-can-come buffet. As a guess, I’d say four. He’s still got a week to go. Maybe he’ll have four more.

We’re home for a few days before our next trip. Our focus was definitely not on play. As Mrs. Lion pointed out in a post, FLR was more visible this past weekend. We were out exploring and stopped for lunch. The service was horrible. After waiting over half an hour for a simple lunch, I wanted to leave. Mrs. Lion said, “I’m not leaving.” That meant, of course, I couldn’t leave. I wonder why she didn’t say, “We aren’t leaving?”

She pointed out in her post that I could have left. After all, her statement was just about what she was doing. She knew, of course, I wouldn’t strand her. I think her statement was a kind of baby step. It implied that I had control in the situation too. I could choose to leave. But, it was a declaration in direct opposition to what I said.

I don’t think she wants me to feel that I have no control over my life. I don’t want to speak for her. My interpretation of her style is that she wants me to display respect and obedience, not demand them of me. Some people describe FLR as an authoritarian relationship where the woman is a dictator. This image is featured in hot female-dominant fantasies. But you can’t successfully build a life on that model.

Our marriage is a partnership. We need each other. No matter who’s in charge, we function cooperatively. The problem with being king, or queen, of course is that contrary to the fantasies, the more authority a person holds, the more of her life she has to dedicate to ruling. It takes a lot more energy to be a selfish dictator than to be a partner with the controlling vote. Neither of us want to change our relationship. We want to enhance it. FLR will only work for us as long as it makes us stronger and happier.