I’ve been seeing blog posts about curing males of the nasty masturbation habit. A great many of these posts are based on an earlier one that posited that when men masturbate, they lose interest in their partners and behave poorly toward them. This “disease” must be cured. At this point the posts diverge. Some suggest punishing the male severely if he masturbates. This “aversion therapy” will train him to keep his hands off his cock. The other school of thought proposes that a chastity device will make masturbation so difficult he won’t do it. In either case the end result is no more male masturbation.
Masturbation isn’t sex. That’s how I always thought about it. When interactive sex wasn’t available, I would jerk off as needed. It was just something to do when horny and no partner was around. Almost all married men masturbate during dry spells. Some masturbate habitually, sometimes several times a day. When Mrs. Lion and I weren’t having sex, I masturbated a couple of times a week.
I proposed enforced chastity. I knew that meant I wouldn’t be able to masturbate any more. The trade off for me was that Mrs. Lion would provide the sexual stimulation I craved. When I asked her to lock me up, I mentioned that I would no longer be able to jerk off. She was surprised. She had no idea I masturbated. I was surprised she didn’t know that I did. Much later, she wrote that she considered masturbation almost as serious as cheating with another woman.
Again, I was surprised. I never considered interactive sex and masturbation to be related, much less that same thing. In my mind, jerking off temporarily sated my horny thoughts. It was more biological than entertaining. But, after I thought about it, I realized that she was right. Masturbation is sex. But it isn’t interactive.
Then I started thinking about female orgasms. Our power exchange puts Mrs. Lion in charge of my sexuality. I don’t have a say in how many orgasms she can have. In our case, that’s not an issue since currently she isn’t interested in sex. But assume she loved to have orgasms, lots of them. Would it be OK if she masturbated alone to have some of them?
The “women” posting about curing the evil, male masturbation habit think so. Apparently it’s cheating for a man to jerk off, but hours of happy alone time with her vibrator is fine for his wife. I recognize that the submissive fantasies surrounding male chastity encourage women to go through dozens of batteries a day pleasuring themselves. Based on my reading, apparently a lot of real people feel the same way.
I have to disagree. While it is fine that my ability to ejaculate is controlled by Mrs. Lion, I don’t think it is acceptable for her to masturbate alone. If it is cheating for me to jerk off, why wouldn’t giving herself solitary sex be infidelity? I think it is. There’s a difference between being in charge and having no rules. There are some things that require both partners to discuss. No matter how it ends up, I think that sexual limits deserve discussion and mutual respect.