What’s Good For The Gander

I’ve been seeing blog posts about curing males of the nasty masturbation habit. A great many of these posts are based on an earlier one that posited that when men masturbate, they lose interest in their partners and behave poorly toward them. This “disease” must be cured. At this point the posts diverge. Some suggest punishing the male severely if he masturbates. This “aversion therapy” will train him to keep his hands off his cock. The other school of thought proposes that a chastity device will make masturbation so difficult he won’t do it. In either case the end result is no more male masturbation.

Masturbation isn’t sex. That’s how I always thought about it. When interactive sex wasn’t available, I would jerk off as needed. It was just something to do when horny and no partner was around. Almost all married men masturbate during dry spells. Some masturbate habitually, sometimes several times a day. When Mrs. Lion and I weren’t having sex, I masturbated a couple of times a week.

I proposed enforced chastity. I knew that meant I wouldn’t be able to masturbate any more. The trade off for me was that Mrs. Lion would provide the sexual stimulation I craved. When I asked her to lock me up, I mentioned that I would no longer be able to jerk off. She was surprised. She had no idea I masturbated. I was surprised she didn’t know that I did. Much later, she wrote that she considered masturbation almost as serious as cheating with another woman.

Again, I was surprised. I never considered interactive sex and masturbation to be related, much less that same thing. In my mind, jerking off temporarily sated my horny thoughts. It was more biological than entertaining. But, after I thought about it, I realized that she was right. Masturbation is sex. But it isn’t interactive.

Then I started thinking about female orgasms. Our power exchange puts Mrs. Lion in charge of my sexuality. I don’t have a say in how many orgasms she can have. In our case, that’s not an issue since currently she isn’t interested in sex. But assume she loved to have orgasms, lots of them. Would it be OK if she masturbated alone to have some of them?

The “women” posting about curing the evil, male masturbation habit think so. Apparently it’s cheating for a man to jerk off, but hours of happy alone time with her vibrator is fine for his wife. I recognize that the submissive fantasies surrounding male chastity encourage women to go through dozens of batteries a day pleasuring themselves. Based on my reading, apparently a lot of real people feel the same way.

I have to disagree. While it is fine that my ability to ejaculate is controlled by Mrs. Lion, I don’t think it is acceptable for her to masturbate alone. If it is cheating for me to jerk off, why wouldn’t giving herself solitary sex be infidelity? I think it is. There’s a difference between being in charge and having no rules. There are some things that require both partners to discuss. No matter how it ends up, I think that sexual limits deserve discussion and mutual respect.


  1. Author

    I’m not sure where I am in terms of what I think about female masturbation. I will ponder and perhaps write something myself about it.

  2. Author

    Here’s one rationalization from an FLR blogger that seeks to legitimize the different masturbation rules for men and women:

    “Female masturbation is not prohibited as there is no loss of Jing (life essence). I lose no chi or jing when I orgasm. I don’t masturbate, but it wouldn’t matter if I did as it wouldn’t impact the frequency of intimacy I would have with my husband. I can have 18 orgasms and be energized. Whereas the detrimental effects of semen depletion are observable in males.”

    Here’s how she handles violations by her husband:

    “I bought a shock training collar used to humanely train dogs.”

    “The settings go from 1-100 on the remote for the collar. I wanted to do it just as a demonstration, and set it to 1. It delivered a very aversive stimulus. It’s stopped masturbation for the last year and any intentional spills during intercourse.”

    Sounds like a very enjoyable marriage.

    1. Author

      This is the classic “aversion” fantasy. Does she follow him around so she can catch him jerking off? Shock collars don’t have a hundred levels of shock. This may be a hot fantasy, but you believe it is real?

      1. Author

        I’m inclined to believe it. She defended it vigorously.

        If you read her post, she claims to have real expertise in the use of electrical shock for behavior modification and even cites (very generic and sketchy looking) protocols for the “humane” use of shock.

      2. Author

        I just checked and there definitely are dog shock collars that are advertised as having 100 settings.

        Overall I would be cautious at calling other blogs as fantasy based on the behaviour being too weird. Humans are capable of pretty wide ranging and extreme behaviour. Any BDSM relationship probably looks pretty abusive from the outside.

        1. Author

          I have the shock collar you mention. It is the “big dog” unit that I wrote about. You definitely don’t feel the lowest setting. I’m not so sure it has 100 levels, but I may be wrong. My comments did not refer to other blogs as weird. There are obvious problems that I cited.

  3. Author

    Let me just say that I like your blog because with all the caging, FLR, DD, etc., there always seems to be a real mutual love and caring between you and Mrs. Lion. However, I see other blogs (like the one that I cited) in which I see none of that. Kudos to you guys for showing people how all of this can be done without denigrating, disrespecting, and disregarding your partner.

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