By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments
tenderizer spanking paddle
The Tenderizer
This paddle has raised pyramids. When applied strongly, this paddle doesn’t have much sting, but the pain it leaves behind lasts for hours. Lion says this is one of the best for punishment.(click image for purchase information)

I surprised Lion last night by remembering his punishment. Normally I give him any swats due before we play. He’d reminded me earlier in the day and I had forgotten. I unlocked him as usual and eventually I edged him orally. He might have thought he was going to get an orgasm but I held off. I’m thinking his fireworks will happen while we’re away on our trip.

After I left him hanging with no orgasm, we watched TV and got some dessert. When I picked up my trusty iPad, it alerted me “Lion P 9:00pm”. Aha! I must have dismissed the earlier 8:00 pm message without thinking about it. Here’s another reason Lion doesn’t want me to look at my iPad at night. It gets his butt in trouble.

I selected my tenderizer paddle. It’s fairly lightweight but it has diamond shaped bumps on it like a meat tenderizer. I think I did six or eight very hard swats and Lion says the paddle has long lasting effects. I know he felt them an hour or so later when we were settling in for bed. It has a nice wide surface and those bumps must really do the trick. I was looking for a paddle just like that for a long time and Lion finally found it for me. So he only has himself to blame for it. Of course, I probably would have found it on my own eventually.

As soon as I was done with his swats, Lion was sure to thank me. That’s what got him in trouble this time around. He needs to remember that I am punishing him for his own good and that I’m going out of my way to do it. A little gratitude is expected. Actually Lion is the one who remembered he forgot to thank me for his punishment on Sunday. It is his job to remember his punishments and also to self-report when he has a violation that I’ve missed. He’s been doing very well with that.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity

We get comments fairly regularly about the conflict between a keyholder’s desire for penetration and the male’s desire to remain locked in enforced chastity. One of our readers, Collaredmichael wrote:

We are in our second trial contract that will go several months. And then we’ll see! I do know she likes penetration and while I have alternatives and extenders she prefers the real thing. So I seldom go more than two weeks without it. But after two weeks it is difficult to prevent orgasm.

The issue is that his wife wants his penis inside her and he finds himself unable to prevent orgasm after a couple of weeks. This is a very common situation. I think that this indicates a misunderstanding about enforced chastity. Pretty much every keyholder learns about chastity from her partner. If she had any prior awareness of it at all, it probably wasn’t something she thought much about.

Guys, on the other hand, will spend endless hours reading and thinking about being locked in a chastity device. They main symbol of being chaste is orgasm denial. To many guys, the longer the denial before orgasm, the better the chastity experience. This is communicated to the keyholder. Along with this concept of extended male denial is the idea that he can provide his keyholder with all the sex she wants so long as it doesn’t include his orgasm.

If a guy can hold off his orgasm when he is being sexually stimulated, then the keyholder who wants penetration could have all the sex she wants without letting her partner come. Very few guys can do that. I am impressed by those who can. In Collaredmicheal’s case, he can hold out for a week or two but then he just can’t help himself. His comment indicates that both he and his wife are disappointed by this. That’s because by his definition, orgasm denial ends too soon.

I suggest you reconsider what enforced chastity really is. For one thing, it is sexual control of the male by his keyholder. He is prevented from orgasm unless his keyholder decides he should have one. Generally, the “enforced” part is a chastity device locked on his penis. But hardware isn’t really necessary. Enforcement can be supplied by force of will or by punishment for failure to abstain. Note that the focus is abstention. So, guys assume that since the conversation is about abstaining, then the measure of enforced chastity sucess is the length of abstention. It really isn’t.

Enforced chastity is about control; sexual control. It’s not about how long a male can be kept from an orgasm. It’s about someone else deciding when he can have one. So, Collaredmichael, you can be locked in a device until your wife wants your penis for her entertainment. If  you both know that you will orgasm whether she wants you to or not after two weeks, then she may decide to let you get off more frequently to prevent “accidents.” She could, if she wishes, give you a hand job once a week or once every ten days. That way you will remain dry when she uses you for penetration.

It isn’t her job to have to either compromise what she wants or give up enforced chastity. It is her role to control you. She should get everything she wants sexually, even if it means you orgasm frequently. That’s why if you both see sexual control as you avoiding ejaculating inside her, then she should be sure you ejaculate frequently enough outside her vagina to assure you perform as she wishes when she wants penetration. You, of course, remain in your chastity device until she needs your services.

By:
In: Edging, Mrs Lion Comments

I don’t think Lion really liked my characterization of our life as “routine.” I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I meant it in the sort of way that people who live together have to develop a routine. When you first move in, you do things a certain way and the other person does things a certain way. Sometimes those things clash. Toilet paper over or under? Dirty dishes washed immediately or do they wait until a few accumulate in the sink? We’re still finding our way in enforced chastity and female led relationship, but some things we have down to a routine. A science, if you will.

Lion was very excited last night. He gave me “the look” and I knew he wanted to snuggle. Of course, I always have to touch Mr. Weenie while we snuggle. Sometimes he responds. Sometimes he doesn’t. Last night he did. Very much so. I was able to edge him quite a few times. The last time was so close I think one more stroke would have been too far. Much to Lion’s dismay, he did not get to come. He is ever hopeful even though he knows it can’t be his day yet. Possibly because 2.0 doesn’t care when his day is. If she wanted him to have an orgasm last night, she would have taken it. For now, she’s happy to make him wait.

I love watching Lion’s face when I edge him. It’s a mixture of concentration and “oh god, I hope she keeps going”. Whatever he’s thinking, he’s very cute. And then, on those rare occasions that he does come, he gets that big, silly smile on his face. What can I say? I love that face. Does that mean he should have more orgasms? Nope. But perhaps he’ll have a vacation orgasm. Fingers crossed.

By:
In: Lion's Journal

We worked all weekend getting ready for our first trip.. We’re very close to ready. The truck’s fueled, tires correctly inflated, food and drink aboard, and electronics tested and ready. Mrs. Lion’s stowed her vacation toy bag. I haven’t had any time to think about BDSM or enforced chastity. I’m securely locked up as usual. Sex hasn’t been a priority over the weekend. The upcoming trip is our longest vacation trip in over five years. It is by far the longest in our RV. We will have time to take it easy and enjoy some of the play we have been missing. I will be cage free the entire trip.

I don’t have a lot to report; at least about matters sexual. Enforced chastity is so much a part of our lives that we don’t think about it. My cage is completely comfortable. I don’t need to lube or remove it to minimize discomfort. I am so comfortable I forget it is there. I also forget it isn’t there when Mrs. Lion lets me run wild. I never expected enforced chastity to become so ingrained in our lives that it simply doesn’t come up in our conversations. We can go days without a single mention.

Way back when we were just starting, the idea of renegotiation was very important. I read about chastity contracts containing excruciating details on exactly how the sexual surrender would work. It turns out that after a while there are no details to consider. It’s dog doo simple: I wear a chastity device at all times except when Mrs. Lion removes it. I orgasm when she decides I should. Case closed. If you are new at all this, you might consider the last two sentences as all you really need to negotiate. The only other item that belongs in the agreement is the review date. That’s the date you discuss enforced chastity and decide whether or not to continue. If you decide to go on, you may want to set another review date.

We didn’t. We decided that we were going to continue with no expiration. That decision was prophetic. After a while, neither of us considered ending it. Enforced chastity is just another part of our lives.