Speed Bumps

Based on our posts over the past few days, you might think we have no idea what we’re doing. I think you’re correct. At least I have no idea what I’m doing. When I tell Lion I don’t know what I should be doing, he tells me there is nothing I “should” be doing. I can do whatever I think is best. Ohhhh…well that makes it all crystal clear. Not.

I know he shouldn’t be telling me what to do. I know many people think I shouldn’t even be listening to his suggestions. But the thing is, with the troubles lately, I do need his help. I can’t know how he’s feeling. I can’t just charge through like nothing else is happening. For one thing, it wouldn’t work. And it would annoy Lion if I insisted on trying to get him hard when he’s not in the mood. Too much stimulation doesn’t feel good.

An internet domme might say it shouldn’t matter. Who cares if he doesn’t want to play? Who cares if he can’t get hard? I’ll whip him until he complies. Uh huh. OK. You do that. I won’t. I care about Lion. I want to know when something is wrong. How else can we fix it? Even if it’s an outside thing like a job, I need to try to make him feel better. That’s my job.

Despite his post saying we just need to soldier on, I’m thinking I’ll leave things the way I said in my post. I’ll unlock him nightly and we’ll go from there. If he’s looking for play, he can tell me. If I’m looking for play, I’ll ask him if he’s ready for it. This is a lifestyle. It’s long term. We both understand there will be speed bumps along the way. We can make it past them.


  1. Author

    You two are each a blessing for each other. Keep it up.

  2. Author

    In any D/S relationship that I’ve known that actually *works*, regardless of whether it’s fem- or male-dom, chastity, master/slave, or whatever, the only constant has been that the top is extremely in tune with the bottom’s feelings. Regardless of how “connected” two people are, the best way to know about those feelings is to ask! At least, there should be no penalty for the bottom expressing their feelings.

    In the case of the Lions, it doesn’t appear that Mr. Lion has too much difficulty expressing his feelings, but he does appear to be concerned about doing so. Consider that it’s just additional data for the top, and as he’s said so often, doesn’t necessarily constitute a request; even if it does, Mrs. Lion is under no obligation to act upon it.

    Incidentally, I feel that the reverse situation is equally important in a long-term, “lifestyle” relationship: it’s important that the bottom know how the top is feeling too. Topping, if done right, is not easy, and can be very stressful especially over the long term. It’s easy to be an expectant and demanding bottom, sometimes without even realizing it.

    It certainly seems like you two have a wonderful relationship, with a very solid foundation in both love and respect (I believe that both are necessary). As you’ve noted with the title of this post, there may be speed bumps, but I don’t think they’re having any impact at all on the integrity of your relationship. That’s truly a pleasure to witness – thank you both for sharing your lives so openly!

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