My job search continues. A new opportunity has presented itself and I am wending my way through interviews with that. That’s two active prospects. I feel good about this progress. Mrs. Lion and 2.0 have both been great about understanding how my libido is being affected by all this uncertainty. Ironically, at work I am very good at managing ambiguity. The key to managing ambiguous situations is to look at the best and worst possibilities, then try to minimize the worst and influence things toward the best.
I can’t do that with enforced chastity or FLR. I’m not supposed to influence that. I know. I know. I often influence Mrs. Lion, but I know I shouldn’t. She’s been getting much better about disregarding my “help”. I’m afraid I’ve caused a setback. My feeling down and resistant to her attempts at play, have dented her confidence.
We’ve talked about the post I wrote yesterday. She wanted to know what I wanted to suspend in our relationship. I suggested that while things were difficult for me that perhaps she should see how I feel before starting play. It’s a good idea on one level. It does give me a little space. But the more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that I made a mistake. Which, after all is worse, is it allowing me to pull back from play and edging, or making Mrs. Lion question whether or not she is doing the right thing?
I was wrong. I may not be in the mood for clothespins on my balls or velcro around my penis, but that is no reason for her not to use them on me. It isn’t, after all, for my amusement. Ultimately, I will feel better living with a confident lioness than handling some sensation she wants to inflict. She is very concerned about how I feel about what she does to and for me. I appreciate that. Maybe if things are to get toned down, it’s her decision to make without my input.
We fly blind through this power exchange. What feels right on one day, seems to be a mistake the next. Mrs. Lion has very good judgement. I trust her. She is almost always right.