One of the perils of a three day weekend is knowing you have an extra day. Oh, we can do that tomorrow…. I guess we really did what we do every weekend. We let the day quietly slip away so by the time we did a few errands it was late. Then dinner was late. Then playing was late. And Lion said he was broken again because he’d been horny earlier but not by the time we got around to playing.

Fast forward to today, when the dog woke us up early and I have every intention of doing things today, but who knows if we will. I’m thinking, at the very least, if we pretend it’s any other Sunday, we’ll do laundry and some other chores and play later although not as late as yesterday. And then Monday we can really concentrate on playing since it’s our bonus day. That sounds like a good plan on “paper”. However, it looks like another rainy day (big shocker) so the outdoor chores will probably wait another day. So maybe we’ll be able to really play both days.

I’m hoping to catch Lion at his horniest. I’m not sure when that is but perhaps we need to drop everything and play then. I don’t want him thinking he’s broken because I delayed playing and he isn’t up for playing when I initiate. I was also thinking last night of testing out a concept Lion mentioned about a week ago. He would have ten seconds to see if he could get me interested in sex. I think ten seconds is too short a time even in the best of circumstances. I was thinking either thirty seconds or a full minute would be better. I’m still not sure it would work but we’d have a better shot at it than ten seconds. Of course, trying to get me turned on has little to do with turning Lion on, although he has said it sometimes gets him hard pleasuring me. I’m just worried that if it doesn’t work for me, then he’ll feel like he failed. And I’ll feel like I failed because he feels like he failed. And around and around we go.

At any rate, Lion will get some sort of play time today. I’m thinking the sling is the most likely scenario. He’ll be restrained and I can do so many different things to him. And he’ll be restrained. He loves that part so it’s worth mentioning twice.

Enforced chastity seems to be one of those things that are exceedingly easy to quit. Here’s what typically happens: He proposes enforced chastity. He has been reading about it for a long time. Finally he gets up the nerve to ask his partner. She tentatively agrees. They get a device, he puts it on, and they begin. She decides to learn more and begins doing her own online research. She reads about FLR and what other keyholders do. She may have found our site and follows our growth. She gets more enthusiastic about enforced chastity and FLR.

Meanwhile, he is discovering that a lot of the time between his orgasms is not filled with arousing activity. Life goes on; only now with him locked into an uncomfortable chastity device. In the beginning, most guys get inexpensive devices that are less than comfortable to wear.  That discomfort moves to the center of his attention and he lets her know he isn’t a happy camper.

Our baby keyholder isn’t yet a confident leader. She’s doing what she understands to be her role, but he isn’t reacting the way he should. Then life intrudes. A job is lost. Someone gets sick. It’s time to move. Both of you are consumed solving a problem. Or, you disagree about something important. The new roles go out the window. Old patterns return. Momentum has been lost. It isn’t long before the device comes off and enforced chastity and FLR become memories.

I think that the reason this happens so often is the very nature of this experience. Enforced male chastity and FLR are full-time power exchanges. New roles are established for both members of the relationship. These roles are very different from the ones we have had our entire lives, at least up to now. So, if things get tough, the old, comfortable roles return.

The only way to prevent reverting is for one or both partners to consciously stop the slipping and put the power exchange back on track. Here’s where timing comes in. At the start, the man who has asked for enforced chastity is the engine that drives the power exchanges. His fantasies and excitement provide energy to his less enthusiastic partner. Over time, she will find her dominant center and the power balance will shift slowly. During this transition both partners can feel some discomfort and uncertainty. That certainly happened with Mrs. Lion and I. Things start feeling very real.

It’s at this stage that things can quickly go wrong. As he (me) is surrendering power, he is also feeling a little uncertain about what he has done. It won’t take very much to end the adventure. Both partners are uncomfortable. Why not quit? This the end for many people. I think that in many cases, giving up is the right decision. Perhaps there are important reasons to continue. Now is the time to discard the fantasies and take a cold, hard look at what has happened.

Things end in two ways: they slowly drift into disuse and quietly die. Or they explode like fireworks and go out in a blaze of rage and hurt. Enforced chastity tends to die of disuse. The caged male loses interest. His partner, not completely convinced the practice is what she really wants to do, shrugs her shoulders and lets it slip away. Sound familiar?

Tomorrow, let’s look at what can be done to bring the power exchange back to life and I’ll share some of the mistakes we’ve made along the way.

To Be Continued

I considered giving Lion an orgasm last night. I was using the Magic Wand and that usually makes him very excited. His scheduled date was the 26th, but he had an orgasm on the 22nd. He hasn’t exactly been waiting a long time. Plus, I figured, since we have three full days together, it would be silly to give him an orgasm and make him less horny before the weekend even starts. I could be torturing him on those three days. Duh! So I got him close. Very close. And then I left him hanging. At some point today, I will resume the torture.

Generally, knowing something is coming excites Lion. I don’t know if it’s as exciting if he doesn’t know exactly what’s coming though. For example, if I tell him he’ll be tied to the bed today, his mind is off and running. He loves being tied up. And to some extent, if I tell him he’ll have the shock collar on, he’ll be excited. If I tell him diapers are coming, he may not be as excited, but he still likes to know I’ll be asserting my authority over him. If I just say we’ll be playing later, I think it’s too vague for him to get worked up about. I need to engage his mind before I engage any naughty bits. This is sort of a disadvantage to me. I may be perfectly willing to tie Lion to the bed and make his cheeks a lovely rosy red when I think about it at 10 am. However, as the day goes on, I may be less and less inclined to do it. But I already told Lion I would. And he’s been thinking about his wonderful warm butt all day. So when I don’t do it later on, he’s disappointed and I’ve let him down again. That’s why I try to keep things vague.

I’m also running into another problem. It may not be a problem at all, but I’m perceiving it as one at the moment. When Lion is less interested in sex, I don’t want to do play that he doesn’t like. But if I make him do things he doesn’t like, I am taking control which is what he wants. For example, if I pull out the Velcro he makes a face and I’m concerned he won’t be able to get hard because he hates the Velcro so much. But who cares if he likes the Velcro or not? If I say we’re using Velcro, then we’re using Velcro. That’s 2.0 logic. If she’s around there’s no problem. If it’s just 1.0 around, she wavers. I need to figure out a way to flip a switch and make 2.0 come out.

For now, I’ll just say that Lion is in for more play over the course of our three day weekend. He may or may not have an orgasm. There will definitely be pain involved. And there will be pleasure involved. Actually, it’s just a normal weekend with the Lions

Some people got the idea that we were through with enforced chastity and done with this blog. Apparently my post yesterday gave that impression to a few people. This is not the case at all. The blog is alive and well and neither of us have any intention of stopping. There are times when things are difficult. But we don’t give up easily.

For us, enforced chastity isn’t just a kink we decided to try. It is an inherent part of our relationship. The question I posed was, what would happen if I lost interest in sex completely? As Mrs. Lion reported in her post yesterday, I haven’t. But even if I did, that wouldn’t be the end of the changes we have made. She remarked that if I had indeed lost all interest then the chastity device wouldn’t be needed. That’s true I suppose. But I don’t agree that it should go away. When are you married long enough to stop wearing wedding rings? You get the point. We don’t need the rings to know we are married. Nor do we need them to assure fidelity. We wear them because they are loving reminders of our commitment to one another.

If I don’t have the chastity device locked on, I am in no danger of having sex without Mrs. Lion. I’m well conditioned to keep my paws to myself. But I think the device is still required. It reminds both of us of my sexual surrender and reminds Mrs. Lion to attend to me as she sees fit. We have a female led relationship; at least our version of one. That, like enforced chastity, is about control. I think that the chastity device is part of that as well. The device is a powerful symbol of control. For me, at least, it also symbolizes Mrs. Lion’s more general control.

I’m not submissive and Mrs. Lion isn’t dominant. In fact, the reverse is the case. For reasons we have discussed in the past, reversing these roles serves us very well. It will be a long time, if ever, for us to naturally assume our new roles. The chastity device reminds us of our roles. We didn’t plan this. But we both realize that we need a very real symbol of control to keep us “honest”. So, the device remains locked on my penis whether or not it is strictly necessary. And the key hangs around Mrs. Lion’s neck, at least when she goes out. It turns out that the Jail Bird is both a practical device to keep me under sexual control as well as a powerful, irremovable symbol of Mrs. Lion’s control of me.

Rumors that we are done with this blog and enforced chastity are extremely premature. I’m securely locked up and committed to enforced chastity and FLR. We are also going to be right here sharing our adventures with you.