Where Do I Look On The Menu?

On the big menu of power exchange, where do we put enforced chastity? Is it in the appetizer section? Does it belong with the entrees under sex? How do we categorize our kink. It’s fair to say that it doesn’t really matter where it appears. It is also fair to try to understand how  enforced chastity fits into a complete power exchange meal.

We do know that enforced chastity is unusual and doesn’t appear in most power exchange conversations. It’s fair to say that it is an exotic dish. It also seems that quite a few people who partake of it, make enforced chastity the first power exchange they try.

One argument that it belongs with appetizers is that many, if-n0t-most people who begin with enforced chastity, eventually move on to other, unrelated activities. In my reading, I haven’t discovered any bloggers, at least, who practice enforced chastity and nothing else. I realize that a good many people add enforced chastity to existing BDSM activities. Well, some like a selection of appetizers for the main course.

There is one thing that is unique about enforced chastity: it is the only form of bondage I know that can be safely practiced 24/7. It provides physical control of a man’s penis. That is heady stuff and explains why so few who have heard about it, try it on a long-term basis. It’s a bit like fugu, a sushi dish made from the poisonous puffer fish. If the chef isn’t skilled enough, the dish will kill the person eating it. If prepared correctly, it is a delight (so I hear).

To be palatable for a man, the device has to be comfortable. That requires a device suited for him. Any mistake in measuring or manufacture and there will be too much discomfort to wear. The serving size also has to be correct. Too much, or too long a wait for an orgasm, will turn many men off. The enforced chastity process has to be a gradual weaning from frequent orgasms to much less frequent opportunities to ejaculate. Most of the men think they can start off waiting a long time. A wise keyholder knows that to build his enthusiasm for his bondage, she has to give him release frequently in the beginning and work up to the waits long enough for him to feel her control. So, in our kinky restaurant, serving size of enforced chastity has to vary depending on whether it’s the diner’s first taste, or if he is a long-time consumer.

As time goes by, chances are good that both the caged male and his keyholder get restless with all the inactivity between releases. So, teasing and edging are added. Also, when one or both of them start to like the taste of power exchange, it makes sense to try other forms to see if they enhance their meal. Some, like us try many different dishes. Some we like and eat again. Others we reject. Mrs. Lion and I think we like FLR, so we are experimenting with the different ways it can be prepared. We both find spanking useful and tasty. We have that dish quite often.

Enough of the food metaphor. My point is that enforced chastity extends over long periods of time. It’s natural to look for things to do between orgasms. The desire for control that started enforced chastity doesn’t go away between orgasms. If anything, it grows. This is what I think motivates many of us to find other things to do in the meantime.