Bottoms Up

2.0 commented the other day that she was running out of play ideas. There are, after all, a limited number of BDSM activities. Even with a large repertoire, you will eventually run out. But there is a very simple and fun answer to the “what can I do now?” question: Do training.

Take anal play for example. Butt plugs and pegging can grow old for both top and bottom. However, add the training aspect and this set of activities takes on a new personality. Anal activities in particular, lend themselves to safe, progressive training. I am in the early stages of that myself. I’m learning to comfortably accept smaller butt plugs and dildos. 2.0’s current goal is to train me to ride our fucking machine. This device will peg me at any speed Mrs. Lion wants.

It will take a while for me to accept our slightly-larger-than-lion-sized dildo for pegging. It will take a long time for me to reach that first goal. A long time ago she said she wanted me to learn to accept her entire hand. I’ve felt that was probably impossible. Now I’m not so sure. With very consistent training I think I will learn.

Mrs. Lion likes variety. She worries I will get bored if she doesn’t keep changing things up. I don’t think so. Most of the things she does to me can be increased in intensity in one way or another. I see this “training” as a very consuming form of play. It’s change on a very primal level. Over the years, my lioness has worried about losing my interest. That’s not possible. I think her concern that she needs to change things up is a symptom of that.

She’s also experimenting with how much and how long she can keep me in unsatisfied sexual heat. She’s been very successful there. I hope she is getting satisfaction from my frustration. She has my full attention.

Another recent activity has been putting clothespins on my balls and then removing one each time I am edged. That combination of sensations is very powerful. This form of play is brand new to me; another Lioness 2.0 creation. This is an activity I hope she will repeat often. The combination of pleasure and pain is amazing to me.

We both discuss punishment here on the blog. I try to avoid being punished, but I miss it when I somehow manage to meet Mrs. Lion’s standards. I’ve been trying to understand this apparent contradiction. So far I’ve had only one thought: Punishment is a form of attention that shows both love and control. It’s  hard work for 2.0 to enforce rules and  modify my behavior, and even more work to punish me when I fail to meet her standards. Her consistent effort demonstrates in a very real way how much my lioness cares about me. I realize that there is some artificiality there. The rules she is enforcing aren’t life changing. But they are rules and do circumscribe my behavior. I can’t ask for more than that. Boundaries are very important to me. My lioness is doing a good job setting them.