Liquid Silk lube
This is the lube that Lion ordered. Click the image to buy from Amazon.

Lion had only one offense on his list for punishment last night. I’m sure he was waiting for a lot of hard swats. He should never assume he knows what’s coming. I selected the wooden spoon and decided that I wouldn’t hit as hard, but I would hit faster than the previous time. I still achieved rosy buns. Lion may have gotten off easy this time, but I want him to wonder what kind of swats he’ll get. If I always give him the same swats, it will become predictable. Just as I alter his hand jobs or blow jobs, I alter his swats. I have to keep him on his toes.

Last night I was considering not unlocking him but using the cinnamon oil on him. We haven’t tried it yet. We received some lube in the mail that is supposed to be easier to clean up than silicone. Lion tried a little on his hand and said it felt very good. He left the bottles near my sink in the bathroom. I passed them several times and he repeated how nice it felt a few times. And then he brought me a bottle. I asked if it was a hint. He said of course it wasn’t. Oh really? He said he wasn’t sure I saw it. Uh huh. Right. I felt it was my duty to review the product so I unlocked him.

I think I got a little carried away. A little too zealous in my stroking. He got hard immediately but then Mr. Weenie lost his oomph. We both washed off the new lube (it was very easy to wash off) and then we settled down to snuggle. A few minutes later, Mr. Weenie woke up again. Apparently he wasn’t done for the night. I was happy to oblige. Lion had reported being extremely horny and I told him I was sure I could make it worse. I did so a few times. He has four more days to wait and I’m not really inclined to give him a bonus at this point. We’ll see what the weekend brings.

Speaking of the weekend, aside from manscaping, Lion has a date with some clothes pins. Lots of clothes pins. He might even have a date with the sling. What better way to have his balls in full view and available for play? And if he’s tied up, and a little menthol rub (or more) gets on them, well, he won’t be able to do a thing about it. Yup, 2.0 is a bitch. Poor Lion. Poor, lucky, Lion.

Wednesday night was vibrator night. Mrs. Lion and the Magic Wand did some edging with me. After a fairly long run up and let down, I lost interest in more action. I guess I was vibed out. My sexual interest is fairly low even though it’s been six days. Maybe my “grumblies” have returned. Yesterday was a day I just wanted to go back to bed and pull the covers over my head. I haven’t been sleeping very well and that does little to improve my mood.

I was thinking about all this on my way to work yesterday. It occured to me that if I wasn’t wearing a chastity device, I could just push sexual things into the background and wallow in my feeling down. OK, I know it’s true that I could do that even wearing the device. Or is it? While it’s perfectly comfortable, I am always aware it’s there. But I don’t think about how my life would be without it. It’s not making things worse for me. At moments like that I am not thinking about sex. A cage locked around my penis isn’t really relevant. Or is it?

You see, that cage makes me different from most other men. That, in itself, isn’t troubling. My life has been far from the norm forever. But I start thinking about what the cage means that influences my self image. Let me explain. Wearing a chastity device is a symbol that my keyholder, Mrs. Lion controls my sexuality. It’s impossible to pretend that the cage is there just because it turns me on to be locked up. That reason would have worked a year ago, but not now. Mrs. Lion has made it clear that I don’t get to decide if it ever comes off. She would need a good reason to unlock me, even for a short period of time.

My self image is that I am an independent, dominant man. I’m pretty sure that Mrs. Lion would agree with that description. So what am I doing with a cage on my penis? Why have I agreed — no, asked — my lioness to take control and use domestic discipline to keep me on a short leash? Am I weak? Am I kidding myself believing that I am independent and dominant?

That could be  evidence that my self image needs revision. Actually, I don’t think so. Take my namesake, Lion. Lions are independent, strong, and rule the pride. At least that’s how it looks. In reality, the lion doesn’t decide who can join or leave the pride. The lionesses do that. They do defer to him and let him have first shot at the kill, but each one decides if she wants him near her. He’s lioness-pecked, so to speak. To the outside world he is a fearsome foe. At home he better watch his step.

I think that’s what my life is like now. Outside of the den I am dominant and can be a little scary. But at home, I don’t get to be that way at all. Even a soft growl can get me spanked. What’s more significant is that not only do I like it this way, I asked for it. In those low moments I realize that I am not only the author of all this, I am it’s biggest cheerleader. I need things to be the way they are now.

But I’m not submissive. I realize that. Like my namesake, I need consistent training and reminding to avoid reverting to my wild self at home. The stronger my lioness is, the better I feel. Lions can be trained, but not tamed.

The past few days have been a series of meetings and webinars. In the middle of my webinar this morning I was on the phone helping one person, another person came to my desk and I was emailing a third. I’m all peopled out. I mentioned to a coworker that I need to go somewhere there’s no people to decompress. Ironically, Mrs. Lion 1.0 needed “me time” but Mrs. Lion 2.0 doesn’t get any. Of course, Mrs. Lion 2.0 could demand me time, but that was part of the problem for Mrs. Lion 1.0.

When I started 2.0 I thought I’d be more or less directing traffic. Here’s when we’ll do this. Here’s when we’ll do that. I’ll go do what I want and interrupt Lion if he’s doing something he wants to do if I decide it’s time to do something else. The reality of 2.0 is that she’s more about Lion than ever. 2.0 hasn’t been able to do things 2.0 wants to do. Granted, we were busy last weekend building furniture and unpacking the TV, etc. Even Lion wasn’t able to do things he wanted to do. Unless you count the whole “we need a bigger TV” as something Lion wanted to do.

A few weeks ago I expanded my work week to five days again. I get out earlier each day but I added a few hours to the total worked. As a result I wind up getting home around the same time Lion does. I no longer have my Friday off. While I was still doing laundry and cleaning on that day, it was largely mine. I could vegetate. 2.0 still needs a break now and then. It can’t all be about Lion. As I said, 2.0 is in a position to demand me time. It’s a slippery slope. 2.0 doesn’t want it to be all about Lion, but 1.0 apparently wasn’t enough about Lion. 2.0 should be somewhat about Mrs. Lion. Maybe by 3.0 I’ll have it all figured out. Stay tuned.

[Lion — I don’t take up that much of Mrs. Lion’s time. The issue is that she wants to go downstairs to her desktop computer but feels that she is leaving me alone. She is, but if it isn’t all evening, every evening it’s fine with me. I love the idea of her telling me what to do and when to do it. I have no doubt at all she will work this out quickly.]

2.0’s post yesterday is revealing just how things are changing in the lions’ den. Lioness 2.0 is much more action focused. She’s been writing about painting my toenails. They look horrid in colors. She’s right. I hate that. She wrote about frilly panties too a few days ago. That’s something else on my “yuck list”. Sadly, for me, we do have a few pairs from one of my horny, masochistic shopping sprees last year. I should stop writing and shopping when very horny, which I am today. So I am going to try to make this post suggestion-free.

A good deal of the folklore about enforced chastity talks about ownership. You know, whose penis is it? Who owns the chastity device. Many bloggers make this point by referencing the penis as “hers”. The same is true of the chastity device. Mrs. lion refers to my penis as “your weenie”, so ownership is apparently mine. The chastity device is also assigned to me. She tells me to “Put your ring on,” and “Now I’ll put your cage on.”

Do these possessive references mean anything? Some guys think they are very important. They say that if their keyholders own their penises they are surrendering more control. I don’t understand that. The vast majority of activity my penis does is to pee. Owning the appendage that directs urine doesn’t feel like a transfer of control. Owning any opportunity for sexual pleasure does. Also, referring to it as “your weenie” sends me a strong message. So far I haven’t been required to refer to it that way. If I had to, that would be a different, more-classic, BDSM form of control; the same as painting my nails or making me wear panties or diapers. It would also feel awkward to write about “her” penis instead of “my” penis. Too confusing for good writing.

What is most important to me is that she owns my sexuality. It’s hers and hers alone. She owns if and when I get out of my cage; and when I go back in. It’s my cage in the same sense that a prisoner lives in his cell. Enforced chastity,  FLR and domestic discipline are ours. We agreed to pursue them. They are mutually consensual. The fact that we do this stuff belongs to both of us. It’s clearly ours.

She, however, owns if and when I get sexual stimulation and orgasm. That’s all hers. She also owns my obedience and  good behavior. She demonstrates that ownership with domestic discipline, BDSM, and withholding sexual release. In a very real sense I belong to her. I’m still an independent critter who has his own life. But at any time she wishes, she can have me do anything she wishes whether I like it or not. It may be my penis, but she owns any sensations it might get to feel. I may be independent, but if she wants me to do something, or not do something, that’s what I will honor. If she isn’t pleased with me in any way, she will punish me. I don’t like her punishments.

So, my penis and chastity device are mine. My sexual pleasure is hers. I am obedient to her and effectively belong to her. And, enforced chastity, FLR, and domestic discipline are ours. Is your situation different? I’d love to know.