The past few days have been a series of meetings and webinars. In the middle of my webinar this morning I was on the phone helping one person, another person came to my desk and I was emailing a third. I’m all peopled out. I mentioned to a coworker that I need to go somewhere there’s no people to decompress. Ironically, Mrs. Lion 1.0 needed “me time” but Mrs. Lion 2.0 doesn’t get any. Of course, Mrs. Lion 2.0 could demand me time, but that was part of the problem for Mrs. Lion 1.0.
When I started 2.0 I thought I’d be more or less directing traffic. Here’s when we’ll do this. Here’s when we’ll do that. I’ll go do what I want and interrupt Lion if he’s doing something he wants to do if I decide it’s time to do something else. The reality of 2.0 is that she’s more about Lion than ever. 2.0 hasn’t been able to do things 2.0 wants to do. Granted, we were busy last weekend building furniture and unpacking the TV, etc. Even Lion wasn’t able to do things he wanted to do. Unless you count the whole “we need a bigger TV” as something Lion wanted to do.
A few weeks ago I expanded my work week to five days again. I get out earlier each day but I added a few hours to the total worked. As a result I wind up getting home around the same time Lion does. I no longer have my Friday off. While I was still doing laundry and cleaning on that day, it was largely mine. I could vegetate. 2.0 still needs a break now and then. It can’t all be about Lion. As I said, 2.0 is in a position to demand me time. It’s a slippery slope. 2.0 doesn’t want it to be all about Lion, but 1.0 apparently wasn’t enough about Lion. 2.0 should be somewhat about Mrs. Lion. Maybe by 3.0 I’ll have it all figured out. Stay tuned.
[Lion — I don’t take up that much of Mrs. Lion’s time. The issue is that she wants to go downstairs to her desktop computer but feels that she is leaving me alone. She is, but if it isn’t all evening, every evening it’s fine with me. I love the idea of her telling me what to do and when to do it. I have no doubt at all she will work this out quickly.]
To me it seems as if your relationship is Mr. Lion focused. He wanted the FLM to start. Mrs Lion has to decide if he wears this. If he is punished. If he is rewarded. If he is happy with you being on the computer. If he gets clothespins, sandpaper or plastic or wooden. You decide all that and more when it comes to the FLM part of your relationship.
I suggest you take a week and make no decisions on what happens in the FLM aspect of your marriage. Make him decide everything. Punishments and rewards. Play time too. You can say yes or no obviously. But you just sit back and observe and see how you like taking a break from over thinking everything. Let him know that you will critique his efforts and he will be punished or rewarded accordingly. Take a break from deciding and worrying about him so much. He is a big boy. You need a mental break.
I guess I differ from Matt. I would just go off to my spot after telling lion to do the laundry at whatever. Everyone has a need to recharge. Your me time gives you that and as a result you’ll be a better 2.0 to lion.
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