The weekend is half over. Mrs. Lion’s diaper plan is diabolical. I have to wear the wet diaper for an hour after I pee, then I get to use a new one. It isn’t long after I change that I need to pee again. I am spending this weekend in wet diapers. Yuck. I asked her if she liked doing this to me. She said,
“I don’t care about the diapers, but I like that you hate wearing them.”
There you go. I can think of several adjectives for a person who feels that way. I don’t think that Mrs. Lion is a sadist, but she has grown a perverse sense of humor. I’m responsible for that. After all, I have asked her to make me feel her control. She correctly reasons that forcing me to do something I like is probably not an expression of control. It’s indulging me. So, logically, I have to dislike what I am doing for me to understand it is the force of her power that puts me into the predicament.
I do not have a diaper fetish. I don’t want to be an adult baby. And, I absolutely hate wearing a wet diaper. You try cooking dinner while this wet, heavy mass keeps trying to fall off. I was getting positively cranky trying to cook. Couple that with Mrs. Lion helping and the dog underfoot and I was softly growling the entire time. I have to face another day of this today. We may need to go shopping and I may get to go without a diaper. It will be a welcome relief.
This post is not about diapers. It’s about forced dependence. I’m an independent critter who can take care of himself. I avoid depending on others. It rarely works out well when I do. That doesn’t mean that I’m not devoted and absolutely in love with my lioness. I depend on her emotionally, but not physically or financially. So, make me wear diapers and magically I am physically dependent on her. I can’t change a wet one unless she agrees. If she wants I have to sleep in it as well as go shopping in one.
This may feel like an inconvenience to you, but it isn’t. It’s annoying and humiliating. It’s not a bit sexy and I don’t smell all that good either. The only redeeming value is that it shows my obedience to Mrs. Lion and it amuses her that I am so unhappy with it. I think she also likes the fact that she is standing fast in the face of my obvious discomfort.
I wish I could argue with this thinking. I can’t. She’s found an expression of pure dominance over me. It isn’t harmful, just hateful. It doesn’t inconvenience her, only me. No sympathy, no giving in, just another long day of soggy diapers. The last time she tried this, I whined a short time after peeing. This time I’ve shut up. Next time she probably won’t let me change until I am ready to pee again. I can handle it. I’ll just hate it like I hate what’s happening now.
Should others try this too? I have no idea. I think that there is a lot of value in showing dominance by making me do something that has no redeeming value to me. I will not get aroused looking back on this weekend. I won’t get a rush thinking about that she makes me do this. No redeeming value. Just two very long, soggy days learning that I do not control my destiny. That’s Mrs. Lion’s pleasure.