To be fair, I don’t think I gave it a very good shot. It’s just not something that appeals to me. Not that locking Lion away or punishing him actually appeals to me either, but I can do those things. Being in charge is just not my thing. I’m not abandoning it altogether. There are aspects of it I’ll keep. I am more in charge now than I’ve ever been. I just don’t think we’ll call it FLM.

Lion, as he said, is not a very submissive person. He likes to be submissive in the bedroom, hence the rest of our reindeer games, but he’s one of the most unsubmissive people I know. (Yes, Lion, I know it should be “least submissive”. Pet peeve.) So he will continue to do all the things he normally does and I will do all the things I normally do. It seems to work best for us. I will still try to speak up for myself and take a little more interest in the finances.

At first, I took Lion’s suggestion of abandoning FLM as a failing. Was there something I wasn’t doing that I should be doing? Well, of course there is. I’m not taking charge. But more than that, I think he realized that he didn’t really want me to be in charge. Not completely, at least. Whatever we’re doing doesn’t really meet the definition of FLM so we won’t call it that. I’m not even sure it has a name, or needs one for that matter. Labels are very restrictive. As long as we’re happy doing what we’re doing, no one else should be able to tell us we’re doing it wrong. And if it stops working we can always tweak it. Now that the lines of communication are open again, the sky’s the limit.


  1. Author

    What works for you,works for you. Don’t name it. Just be Happy! Hugs del.

  2. Author

    We follow your posts on a daily basis. I agree it can be hard being in a FLR. I as the keyholder am also more submissive than he is. Although he does not have as many requests as Lion does, some of the things he would like go against my nature. We recently started on a website that requires a keyholder and a locked partner. This has become a way for him to request items he would like and i have the option to deny if I choose. In addition I can set up missions for him to complete. Although the locked partner cannot make missions or rewards on the sote conversations on both parts allow for a varity that each partner could be happy with. A plus to this is the KH has ideas saved and the locked partner is aware of what is required.

    1. Author

      I don’t understand why you would need a website to communicate with each other. Mrs. Lion and I talk about things. I propose new ideas in person, by email, sometimes even on here. She lets me know what she thinks about my latest challenge. Usually she is willing to try and we both see how well it works. It seems to me that email would create the permanent record you might want.

  3. Author

    My wife and just started our third year of chastity play. We took a month break after year two. I am getting used to 24/7 lockup again. Your story is ours. Our two attempts at a wlm failed for the same reasons. I cannot be submissive outside of the bedroom. My wife prefers to let me lead our marriage because I have been very successful at it for the last 45 years. We do try to keep chastity and our real life separate as much as possible when being locked up all the time.

    The only significant difference between year one and two is the orgasm denial period. My wife has gotten me use to 2-3 months of denial. This year we agreed to 2-6 weeks. I am not getting younger and my last orgasm can really be my last. Like you we keep it fluid and change things when it stops being fun for either of us. The weird thing is that when I was unlocked for our month break, I missed it. I missed the constant feeling of arousal and teasing. My wife lost interest in sex because she missed the fun of teasing me and my moans of frustration that triggered her orgasms

    We are back to our normal and happy about it. I will probably have my next orgasm in xmas and then on Valentine’s Day. My wife likes to coordinate my releases with holidays or special occasions. We continue to lead our normal life with me in charge and my wife in control of our sex life We do consider chastity as a sex game and not our lifestyle. While I am locked every minute at home, which is most of the time since I am retired, most times I am unlocked when we,go out. For us it is all about chastity, not a contest to remain locked up the longest. I would say that I am locked for all but 4 hours a week. I do not get out much.

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