Mrs. Lion’s post yesterday talked about how our relationship was missing a closeness we had enjoyed when we were first together. She went on to say that since enforced chastity entered our lives, we are back to our newlywed closeness and intimacy. I’ve felt the same way. If we had any sex life at all before enforced chastity, and now Mrs. Lion gets my total sexual focus, the answer would be reasonably obvious. But that’s not the case with us. Mrs. Lion remains uninterested in sex for herself. That part of our relationship is no different than it was when we had lost some of our closeness. It’s a fairly common report from caged males that since being locked up, they are singularly focused on pleasure for their partners.
That makes a lot of sense. The chastity device takes the penis out of the equation. That frees the male to focus exclusively on his partner. Some report no interest in orgasms for themselves. They’ve found happiness in being sex providers for their partners. Mrs. Lion and I are different. So far I am the only partner in our marriage interested in having orgasms. There is no way we can attribute our increased intimacy in the loss of use of my penis. She still has no use for it as a way to please her physically. So, I’m locked up and I’m the only one who wants sexual pleasure. This definitely doesn’t fit the standard model for enforced chastity. Then why have we restored our intimacy and emotional closeness?
The only change is enforced chastity. Mrs. Lion is sure that it is the reason things have improved so much. Part of the reason, I think, is that Mrs. Lion was angry that I never initiated sex. I sometimes hinted that I wanted release, but was never overt. She wanted romance and slowly building foreplay. I didn’t offer that. I love long, building foreplay but I have never been able to make the first move. I think that single gap pushed us apart. It was almost never mentioned and my weak attempts were largely unsuccessful. Over time Mrs. Lion lost interest in sex entirely. I’m sure it’s my fault. I don’t think anything I have done has made me feel as badly as I do about that.
Anyway, when I introduced enforced chastity to her and she agreed to try it, a sea change began in our relationship. We didn’t feel it immediately, but we rapidly found ourselves talking more, cuddling and enjoying the closeness we had been missing. Sadly, Mrs. Lion’s libido didn’t return. My theory is that when the possibility of me initiating sex was removed, Mrs. Lion lost one reason to be upset with me. If you read our earlier posts from 2014, you will see that Mrs. Lion finally verbalized her desire for me to initiate. I tried. I didn’t work out. We kept trying and I could give her orgasms. But while she came, she just didn’t want more. She had the orgasms because she knew how much I wanted to give them to her.
During that first year in enforced chastity and into this one, we came to grips with the fact that for now, at least, Mrs. Lion does not want orgasms. Thanks to our posts here and our emails and conversations, we discussed all of this. We also discuss everything else in our lives. We are intimate with no walls at long last. In a real sense it is about my penis; or more correctly my inability to use it sexually. Just like the couples where the sexual emphasis moves to the wives due to a caged penis, in our case, my lockup “forced” communication about sex and a lot of Mrs. Lion’s involvement since she provides the only way I can get release. We have wondered if the closeness would remain if the cage came off. We are both unwilling to find out.