The Toddler Speaks

I have been reviewing comments and posts over the last week or so. I thought I saw a theme, so I went back further. Sure enough there is a subtext that certainly makes me look silly. For example, Pageantry and Fanfare, Mrs. Lion’s post from earlier this week makes it abundantly clear how silly it is of me to want my key inaccessible. The ineluctable conclusion that you, dear reader, must make is that I am a kinky child with a very indulgent wife. In the dominant/submissive fantasy world, that would make her the ideal mate. How many guys want to be demeaned and objectified? I know that many do. How many women roll their eyes and sigh when they read about the lengths that my dear lioness goes to indulge my perversions? How many guys think I am the luckiest man in the world?

In many respects I am. After all, I’m living a powerful male fantasy. I can’t reasonably expect that my wife will enthusiastically embrace these things. Some women do, but most, like Mrs. Lion, don’t. She certainly provokes chuckles when she writes about the clearly insane lengths I asked her to go to secrete my cage’s key. Any rational person would immediately see that there is no real need to hide it at all. Enforced chastity is, after all, my thing. Almost two years of lockup prove I’m not going to unlock my cage without permission. So isn’t it funny that I would want the key securely locked away?

There is nothing rational about wanting enforced chastity. The same is true of the other things Mrs. Lion does for me. To many it may seem crazy, to others, funny. I agree that some of it is funny. It may be silly that I want to lose the ability to unlock myself. After all, I wouldn’t anyway. But in my toddler mind, there is a big difference between being able to sneak out the key and unlock myself and being completely unable to unlock without discovery. It’s the old “won’t” and “can’t” thing. I get a far stronger message from “can’t” and “no” than I do from “won’t” or “maybe”. It’s how I am wired.

It isn’t that talking about how funny I am isn’t appreciated. Mrs. Lion’s “Pageantry and Fanfare” post drew this high praise from Mrs. Fever, one of our longstanding readers,

“‘Like’ is not strong enough: I wish there was a ‘Love’ button for this post. Or, at the very least, a thumbs-up or fist-bump. Pageantry. *nodnodnod*”

When the laughter dies down, maybe a deeper context will seep through. Yes, my kinks are irrational and to some, funny. Do Mrs. Fever and Mrs. Lion imagine that I didn’t see the inconsistencies in my request for a more secure key lockup? Did they consider that the request was made to make it impossible for me to cheat without discovery? Could they understand that it is important for me to remove even the possibility of unseen cheating? I’m sure they could, but the inherent silliness of such a request couldn’t be met with understanding silence.

For the record, I don’t mind the toddler references at all. I think they are a fair representation of some of my non-kink behaviors. I like the characterization. It fits my fantasies on one level, and is accurate feedback on another. In fact, Mrs. Lion’s references to me as a toddler feel to me like she is embracing her role in FLM and domestic discipline. I am happy about that. I don’t mind her writing about that at all. I like that her writing often makes me chuckle. I also don’t mind reading about my wish for more security. I can laugh at myself. Mrs. Lion writes very funny stuff sometimes. She’s right. I am a toddler and it makes sense to think of me as one of the kids. Fortunately for her, I am the only one still living at home.