Pain

I’ve been thinking about pain this morning. Many women don’t think men know what real pain is because they haven’t given birth. Lion thinks he’s dying when he gets a cold. I have generalized pain every day. A friend has back pain that requires regular trips to PT, OT, and massage therapists. My mother has survived polio, breast cancer (twice), multiple hip fractures, a spinal fracture, and multiple bouts of pneumonia. (I think my mother wins the battle of “My Pain is Worse Than Your Pain”) The truth is, no one can really tell how much pain you’re in. We all have different pain tolerances. I’ve never broken a bone, but the worst pain I have is usually from a paper cut. A stupid little paper cut. I may be limping along while I walk, but that damn paper cut is what is really bothering me.

Lion can handle spanking if there is a long, slow buildup. He loves it. His butt may wind up bruised by the time I’m done, but he’s in heaven. On the other hand, he hates punishment swats. There’s no warm up. Just a sudden thwacking. If his butt winds up bruised by the time I’m done he will not be in heaven. He will possibly be in tears. And very upset at me for being so mean to him even though he really wants me to be that mean to him.

Lion is not a masochist. He doesn’t like pain for the sake of pain. He likes pain for the sake of sex. He had kidney stones once, which I’ve heard are the equivalent of childbirth in terms of pain. He does know real pain. He just likes play pain better.

The past week or so I’ve been in a little more pain than usual. I can handle it unless I’m tired. In some respects I’m a wimp. Could I go through half the things my mother has gone through? I don’t think I have the fight in me that she does. As my brother-in-law said of my mother’s last case of pneumonia, “She’s been doing battle with some ailment since she was young. It’s just what she does.” Indeed.

The difference between me, my mother, my friend and Lion is that Lion is the only one of us who goes out of our way to invite pain. What kind of a weirdo is he? I guess the same could be said of people who jump out of airplanes or go diving with sharks. Are they nuts? Nope. They just like the adrenaline rush. Sometimes I have to remind Lion, when he makes a comment about skydivers being crazy, that he’s got a good bit of crazy in him too. We all do. I don’t just mean kinky people. I mean all of us. Whether your hobby is knitting or skydiving, there are people who think you’re crazy for being so consumed by it.

Well, I got a little off topic there, but I have to shake my head when I think about Lion wanting pain. Many people would do anything to avoid pain. Here’s Lion, front and center, encouraging me to whomp his butt. What a weirdo! It’s a good thing he’s so cute.