Over the last few days Mrs. Lion and I have been writing about our Female Led Marriage (FLM). We didn’t conspire to do this. I guess we both have it on our minds. I think we have some misunderstandings, particularly around my fantasy and what I want. That isn’t her fault. I think that almost by definition, communication about subjects with very strong sexual and emotional content is easy to misunderstand. So in the interest of trying to improve my communication style, I want to try to explain what I think I want. I say that because when we started enforced chastity, what I said I wanted isn’t what turned out to be so successful for the two of us.
So, in terms of FLM, anything I claim I want now is only a jumping off point for what we will probably end up doing. First, I never in my wildest fantasy imagined that Mrs. Lion would manage my entire life. I am just not that submissive. So what am I imagining? In my mind it is very hot for me to obey orders given by Mrs. Lion and to ask her for permission when I want to do something out of my normal routine. For example, if I want to spend money, say more than $25, I would need permission. Mrs. Lion would make clear what she wants and how she wants me to behave. She would enforce her wishes with domestic discipline. That’s it. I just can’t see her assuming the decision making that I do. It isn’t that she can’t. She doesn’t want to do it. Meanwhile back in reality, I truly want her to let me know when she wants something. I want her to expect things of me. I want her to feel comfortable disciplining me for not meeting her expectations. That’s very hard for her. She has spent her lifetime learning to not have any expectations.
I know these changes are very difficult for Mrs. Lion and will certainly be annoying to me. But I think there is a good reason to put ourselves through this. It’s a variation on the reason enforced chastity has been so good for us: it will force us to make positive changes and, in the process, grow closer. FLM will move Mrs. Lion to become more aware of her own expectations. It will encourage her to express them. It will also move her to let me know (forcefully) when I displease or upset her. She accepts things she doesn’t like to avoid causing problems. As her confidence and paddle hand grow stronger, she will learn to correct me when I do anything that even slightly upsets her.
One rule I have is not to interrupt her. Last weekend she said that I still interrupt her but not enough to punish me. She doesn’t like any interruption, but has apparently set a bar for how much interrupting I have to do before I get spanked. It won’t be fun for me, but I have to say that it is a mistake to let things get by. If she notices something I do that she doesn’t like, even if she notices it days later, I think she should discipline me for it. Domestic discipline benefits both of us. I learn to correct my behavior and become more obedient. Perhaps more importantly, Mrs. Lion learns that she needs to note these things and respond to them. I think that after a while she will learn to do this automatically. Along with correcting me, she will also become more aware of her wants and feel able to express them. She’ll know that every time she corrects me she is making me happier and is doing something I have wanted for a long time. Like enforced chastity, after a while she will probably no longer do it because it makes me happy that she does, but will do it because it works for us as a couple.