We’re about to head out on an extended holiday weekend trip. Lion has a few posts ready since we’ll be in a dead zone for most of the trip. I mean completely dead. Nothing for miles. But cell service is available if we drive a short distance. I tell you this because I may miss a few days of posts myself. My posts are generally reactionary. What happened last night? What was in Lion’s post? What stunning decision did I make on the way to work? Nothing like the research sort of posts Lion can whip up on a moment’s notice. I guess that’s because he’s been fantasizing about chastity and practicing power exchange forever.

My reactionary post for today was going to deal with Lion’s request that I contact creditors. I hate doing that. My ex always wanted me to do it and then he’d tell me I did it wrong. I don’t think on my feet as quickly as Lion does. Many of the creditors are only in one of our names anyway. I can’t call about his stuff just as he can’t call about mine. Besides, he’s home and I’m at work. It’s easier for him to call. But I decided that I would offer to call today. Then we decided it could wait till next week. We’ve got our fingers crossed for good news on the job front so the call may be unnecessary.

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As an introvert, I need to psych myself up to make a phone call. I need to rehearse the questions and decide what my answer will be to their anticipated questions. When they throw me a curve ball I have a hard time recovering. Yesterday I worked myself all up to call about my car payment. I thought they would threaten to drag me out of the truck halfway home and make me walk the rest of the way. When I explained my plans for making the payment all she said was she’d make a note and I should call back after I made the payment. As stressful as it is for me to make phone calls, Lion shouldn’t have to do them all by himself. I can help. I just need enough lead time to give myself a pep talk.

On a more positive note, I actually made a decision last night. Lion was shocked. And pleased. The Lion weather report was horny, but we were watching tv and by the time I unlocked him to play he was less than enthusiastic. I told him it was ok. I was enjoying just touching him. We talked about his upcoming punishment for interrupting me. I said, since we’re driving a long way to our destination tomorrow, I reserve the right to punish him Friday night instead. He said I always have that option. When I was done playing with him I left him unlocked. Eventually I put the cage in the bathroom, in it’s “vacation” spot. I told Lion I was leaving him wild. We have a lot of things to accomplish tonight and I don’t want to have to unlock him again tonight. Mr. Weenie is free. Lion can stand to pee. It’s a good day in Lionland.

We won’t have our sling to play in, but I can still restrain Lion and whomp his butt. I can also do some more chomping. Why not? There’s nothing else to do in the middle of nowhere. I may have a few more activities up my sleeve. He’s a lucky Lion. [Lion — I’m always a lucky lion because Mrs. Lion loves me]

In her post yesterday, Mrs. Lion expressed a new resolve to take charge more. I’m not entirely clear on how that will translate into action, but I am sure I will be the first to find out. She wrote that I interrupted her yesterday and she called me on it right away. She did and it made an impression on me. I was a little surprised the paddle didn’t come right out. She chose to put it on Thursday’s list. That’s fine, of course. Meanwhile, the financial situation gets worse and worse. Hopefully someone will hire me soon. In the meantime we just have to tread water as long as we can.

As we have both been writing, figuring out a FLM (Female Led Marriage) isn’t easy for us. Over the years we have developed a division of work that has served us well. Mrs. Lion has indicated that she doesn’t want to change that very much. I agree. In some respects this is probably the worst time to mess with our dynamic. But in an important way, it’s a very good time. In the past Mrs. Lion has withdrawn from the decision-making process. I just took care of things. I think that arrangement might have temporarily been easier for her, but ultimately had to make her feel helpless. I truly don’t like things that way. I’ve been doing it, but it adds to my anxiety. If for no other reason than that I don’t want her to inherit my anxiety, I don’t plan to abdicate completely to Mrs. Lion. Of course if that is what she wants to do, well, she’s the boss. It will feel very good if she takes over talking to some of our creditors.

One of the most important parts of our relationship is the way we share responsibilities. When one of us screws up, there are no recriminations. I don’t expect that to change except when I am naughty. I think that most FLM couples don’t do a total power exchange. It would be too tiring for the woman to make all decisions and too frustrating for the male to be as dependent as an infant. This is one area where the fantasies don’t match reality.  Women who begin FLM, quickly learn just how burdensome taking on 100% authority over another can be. Mrs. Lion and I are just starting to figure out where our FLM starts and ends.

We agree that she has the right to be in charge of anything she chooses. She’s the leader, after all. My behavior is entirely under her control. She controls me sexually. That’s been true for a long time since we started enforced chastity. She now also controls my manners and decorum. As you may have read, I interrupted her Monday night. Tomorrow she will burn my butt with her paddle as a reminder to watch my manners. This is the first punishment in several weeks.

As she said yesterday, Mrs. Lion is done with baby steps. She’s decided to dive right in. Undoubtedly that means there will be more spankings until I learn my lessons. I hate those spankings. I will learn as quickly as I can.