This morning we slept late. We’ve both been having trouble in the sleep department. Lion’s allergies are bothering him and I’ve been in a little pain. It was nice to catch up a little. Lion was on the way to the bathroom when I woke up. He then made his way to the kitchen and fixed breakfast. I asked him if he forgot what day it was. He didn’t have to make breakfast this morning. He said he just wanted breakfast. I thought maybe he was trying to earn some points toward an orgasm. He assured me there was no ulterior motive for his action. I believe him, but it just seemed strange given our recent conversations about games and rewards.

Yesterday, Lion sent me a link to a website. The writer said every woman should try being in charge and there’s really nothing to it. Sure. If you have that personality. I’ve been in charge, both at home with my kids and at work. It’s not easy. For me, at least. What I hear when I read “all you have to do” is just wave my magic wand and things will happen. All I have to do to get a better job is wave my magic wand. All I have to do to be a millionaire is wave my magic wand. All I have to do to have a better behaved Lion is wave my magic wand. Abracadabra! Bibbity Bobbity Boo! Magic.

It’s not magic. It’s work. Of course, the first barrier is actually wanting something. Do I want Lion to be better behaved? What’s he doing that’s so wrong to want it changed? Is it something that can be corrected? I don’t like when he takes the comforter in the middle of the night. Is he doing it consciously? Nope. He just rolls over and it follows him. Will punishment work? Nope. I’d like him to stop dropping food. Is he dropping food on purpose? Nope. Will punishment work? Probably not. Besides that, in a scale of one to ten, how much do either of these things bother me? Maybe three. But Lion wants rules so I make up rules.

Forgetting to remind me about punishment and maintenance spanking night was a self defense idea. He got so mad at me for forgetting punishment night I decided he should have to remember it. He thought I forgot on purpose. Now, when he forgets, he usually says, “But I didn’t think of it!” Really? Are you sure you didn’t forget on purpose?

Most nights we watch Jeopardy. Sometimes Lion answers a question and when the contestants don’t get it he’ll say everyone knows the answer to that. Well, I didn’t. It makes me feel stupid. Everybody knows the square root of X is Y. Really? I didn’t. Everyone knows the chemical symbol for Iridium is whatever it is. Really? I didn’t. Maybe I’ll make that a new punishment. Make me feel stupid and you get some swats. Everyone knows that.

I’m still in search of a game or point system that will allow Lion to earn an orgasm. I was thinking the other day that I still have the Good Lion coupons although I haven’t used them in a while. But their issuance is at my discretion. I think Lion really needs a way to earn points. As long as I don’t have to keep track of them I’m fine with it.

Every so often Mrs. Lion and I talk about chastity games to keep things interesting, as she puts it. Yesterday, she mentioned finding a way I can “earn orgasms.” That’s an interesting way to say it. This renewed interest came from an ongoing system used by Steeled Snake and his keyholder, Charmer. In a comment, Charmer wrote:

“Snake, being the nerd that he is, has a spreadsheet on our private blog that keeps track of points for the last 14 days. It is a running total. I do nothing except assign point additions and subtractions and he is responsible for the updates. Loss of points or some other punishment if he doesn’t keep it current. Another page on our blog is the orgasm log for each of us, which he updates. So, not only do I get to make assignments, I don’t have to do any of the bookkeeping. ‘Make it so…’

It’s good to be in charge.”

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Their system involves assigning points for good behavior and subtracting points for things that Charmer deems naughty. During each 14 day period, Snake has to earn a specific number of points to be eligible for an orgasm. Reaching the goal within 14 days doesn’t guarantee he will get one then. Charmer has the final word. Accumulating more than the goal earns him a bonus orgasm at Charmer’s discretion. This system requires Snake to keep careful track of points, and as Charmer says, he does it with a spreadsheet. Mrs. Lion said she likes the idea of earning orgasms, but is sufficiently number-phobic to shy away from a point system.

Until now, my orgasms have been 100% at Mrs. Lion’s discretion. She can plan releases or give me one spontaneously if the moment moves her.  To be fair, my behavior can enter into her decisions, but I’m never aware of her criteria. We do have behavioral controls, of course. Infractions of her rules results in punishment, generally a painful spanking. Her system is effective. It’s a part of our lives that works. There is no hard reason to look for something else, but adding rewards to our negative reinforcement regime could make things more interesting.

How hard would I work for an orgasm? I think that depends on how long its been since my last one. That’s the problem. After waiting only three days, my motivation for earning an orgasm is naturally lower than after ten days. The Snakes’ system nicely avoids that variation. Earning points after one day is just as important as it is after ten. The reason that system is effective is that we males can understand the concept of accumulating points to get off later. It’s much harder to internalize that being good today (after 3 days) will make my keyholder better inclined to get me off after 10. The reason is simple. I can understand that being good will give me a better chance at an early ejaculation, but I can’t understand how what I do now helps two weeks from now.

Positive reinforcement is difficult in the enforced chastity context. Behavioral psychology suggests that the reward should be given as close to the good behavior as possible. Since the reward in my case is impossible for each small accomplishment, another system must be found. Lions aren’t very good at deferred rewards. I don’t think men, in general, are when it comes to sex. The problem with rewards, or punishments for that matter, is that Mrs. Lion has to be vigilant and report events that requires either. Our month or so with punishments have challenged her to watch for infractions. It could become too much pressure to also have to note good boy events.

At the core of any reward/punishment system is the keyholder’s awareness of good and bad behavior. Since my transgressions are generally very small, Mrs. Lion needs to keep our system top of mind. That’s not easy for her. She doesn’t particularly enjoy any of this. There is no real positive reinforcement for her to become more vigilant. She isn’t a disciplinarian at heart. That’s our dilemma. Even if I do all of the score keeping, Mrs. Lion still has to decide what is good or bad. If she could make that second nature, then how we record and tally results could be my job. That’s something I do well.

Real life enforced chastity is quite challenging. The hard part isn’t what I do. I just allow myself to be locked and accept Mrs. Lion’s control. She has the difficult part. How have you managed rewards? Is there something that can help us? Please let us know.

Having a Lion in captivity has worked out quite well for the past 500 days. We’ve had our bumps in the road along the way, but overall we’re happy with the arrangement. Lion does his share of grumbling, both real and in fun, about being a poor horny Lion. And I tell him he should just relax because this is exactly what he asked for. Can’t argue with that logic.

Neither of us knew how successful we’d be with chastity. It is true that I thought it was just a phase for Lion. I never imagined we’d still be doing it. I feel bad that I was so unaware of how badly I was neglecting Lion before chastity. Now he gets more attention than he wants at times. And, although male chastity would lead you to believe he never gets orgasms, he’s had more of them in this past 500 days than he had the year or so prior to being locked away. Poor, poor Lion.

Since I’ve been edging him every day, he’s developed a new quirky behavior. Every time we move out of the bedroom, our dog thinks it’s treat time. Every time I come out of the bathroom (his key is hidden somewhere in there) Lion thinks it’s play time. He perks up and looks to see if I have the key in my hand. “Is it time? Is it time?” Too funny. The past few nights I’ve waited till long after ten to play with him. The first time I was debating whether to not play that night. When I came out of the bathroom he perked up and I knew I couldn’t leave him hanging. Pavlov has nothing on me and my key.

I don’t know about Lion, but I’m looking forward to the next 500 days. Not that he has any choice in the matter. Aside from our scheduled check-in sometime in 2016, neither of us can stop chastity without an act of Congress, and we know how likely they are to agree on anything. I don’t know if I’d make a blanket statement and recommend male chastity to every couple. It didn’t exactly save our marriage because we were doing fine before we tried it. But it has enhanced things a lot. We were close. Now we’re closer. And it has opened up the lines of communication.

It may seem strange to celebrate 500 days. It’s just a round number that jumps out at you. In 47 days, Lion will have been in captivity for a year and a half. But 547 days doesn’t sound as celebratory as 500. It may sound cheesy, but I think every day is worth celebrating because Lion and I are together. I know, now your teeth hurt from all the sugary sweetness. But that’s how I feel and I’m very sure that Lion agrees.

We humans like to measure things. We like to count. We celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, and numerous holidays. Each one marked on our calendars so we won’t forget. I like to track things. Today is the 500th day that I have been locked in enforced chastity. You might imagine me making a scratch mark on the wall of my genital cell each night before going to sleep. You could think of me counting the days until my eventual release. But that would be wrong. I’m celebrating an important change in my life. Five hundred days ago Mrs. Lion made a wish come true.

Ever since the mid-nineties I have found the idea of enforced chastity very arousing. Long before I met Mrs. Lion I was fascinated with this particular form of bondage. I first read about it on altair boy’s website. It looks much the same now as it did back then. I gobbled up the fantasies and the reviews of various devices. I was so fascinated that I started a web site of my own to review these items. I got to try on all sorts of penis bondage devices. It was very exciting. But I never seriously considered handing over the key and remaining locked for more than a few days. I stopped reviewing and testing after a year.

About 560 days ago, I typed “chastity” in the Amazon search box. I don’t know why, but I did. To my surprise, a large number of inexpensive male chastity devices were displayed. I got that old feeling again. I could feel myself getting hard as I looked at each device. They were inexpensive enough that I decided to order a couple. When they arrived, I quietly put them on to see how they felt. I liked it. The fit wasn’t good, so I went back to the site and to others in search of something that fit. It didn’t take long to find one that seemed to work.

Five hundred days ago, I gathered all my courage and asked Mrs. Lion if she would lock me up. She immediately agreed. She wasn’t enthusiastic, but seemed to accept my request as one more “crazy lion idea.” Shortly after that, I started this blog. It chronicles our adventures almost from the very first day. Neither Mrs. Lion nor I expected that this would last very long. She was sure I would grow tired of it after a week or two. I didn’t. To this day I don’t know why. Wearing a chastity device all the time poses all sorts of little challenges: I have to pee sitting down or risk spraying everywhere. In the RV, even sitting is not great; the shape of the bowl has my balls resting on the toilet wall and I bathe them with pee. The device can pinch sometimes and requires little adjustments. It’s not the most convenient clothing accessory in the world. And, masturbation is impossible.

I had been jerking off between one and three times a week. Mrs. Lion’s libido has been hibernating for years. If I was lucky, she would give me a handjob once a month. I had been taking things into my own hands for years. Now, with the chastity device, I could no longer do that. I confessed here in the blog that I had been masturbating all along. Mrs. Lion didn’t realize that. As part of our enforced chastity, she provided sexual release, usually a handjob, at much more frequent intervals than in the past. I traded do-it-yourself ejaculation for the much-more-pleasurable lioness handjobs.  Now and then I got the bonus of oral release. More significantly, these releases were at her discretion. I had lost control of my orgasms. Of course, that’s the main intent of enforced chastity.

It’s funny, but I didn’t fully understand that for some time. Since sexual attention from her was so rare before we started, I felt that my sex life had picked up considerably since being locked. In fact it had. I was teased and edged regularly; every other day at first and lately, every day. Mrs. Lion makes sure I can’t forget that I am horny and unable to get release without her providing it.

To our surprise, we both really like this change. I know that Mrs. Lion gets no thrill from her control of me, but she does enjoy the renewed physical closeness we now enjoy. Sadly, her libido hasn’t improved in the last 500 days, but we both hope that we can figure out how to fix that at some point. In the meantime, I’m the only one having orgasms and she is the only one providing them. She’s learned to enjoy my frustration as the days since my last orgasm increase. In a perverse way, I’m enjoying that too. We hug and cuddle more. We also have a sexual language we can share even while Mrs. Lion’s interest in sex for herself isn’t there. Enforced chastity has given us that language. I know that we are unusual. Enforced chastity is a very minor member of the D/S spectrum of activities. It is one of the only power exchanges that is practical to maintain 24/7 forever, but it works for us.

Sometimes I wonder if we could have found this one-sided-but-mutually-satisfying form of sex without a chastity device. It’s possible but unlikely that we would have succeeded. The device’s unforgiving efficiency makes it impossible for us to slip into inactivity. The combination of my hormones and the constantly visible device (at least when we are home, since I am always naked there) serve to assure that we will always remember our sexual roles. That’s important. On the 500th day, our activities are just as important as they were on the first. The constant teasing keeps my hormones flowing. It also reminds Mrs. Lion that she provides the only sexual activity I can enjoy. It’s monogamy with a vengeance; and we love it more now than we did 500 days ago.