Ebb and Flow

This weekend was strange. To begin with I allowed Lion to annoy me on Friday. Since I hate confrontations I didn’t even tell him how he annoyed me, or even the fact that he did annoy me. I just stewed in my own juices. But I think it set the mood for the weekend, at least from my side. I was also a little unnerved by Lion’s post on Sunday. He says I’m not failing him and then writes about my not doing things I said I would do. Doesn’t that mean I am failing? Since I already knew I was slipping, I figured I had to step things up a bit this weekend. But now it just looks like Lion pointed out my flaws and I reacted by stepping things up.

I wanted to get him in his sling on Saturday, but we had errands to run and decided Sunday would be better. It didn’t turn out to be much better. I did get him in the sling but, like the weekend, it was strange. It’s difficult for me to tell when he’s not enjoying it because he’s not used to being pegged versus not enjoying it because something is wrong. Pain is part of the process so deciphering between the pleasurable pain and the pain pain is tricky. For whatever reason, he couldn’t take pegging so we stopped. I didn’t think it was his fault. I didn’t think it was my fault. It was just par for the course this weekend.

As far as not following through on my orgasm-a-week program is concerned, I was technically doing that for him too. He’s the one who cares if I have an orgasm or not. I don’t think he’s any less of a man for not giving me orgasms. I know he can. I just don’t particularly care if he does. I think that says more about me than him. I was thinking that having some orgasms might jump start my libido. It may still be worth a try. However, I’m taking it off the goal list because I don’t need the added pressure of a time constraint.

I’m not usually glad to see Monday, but after this weekend I’m glad to see the weekend go. Lion has a few more days to go until his scheduled orgasm. I hope he will get his mojo back before then. It might be back by now. I’ve got plans for him for Thursday night and it would be much more fun if he were horny. Not necessary, but more fun.