Some nights I tell myself that I will just play with Lion. I will not edge him. I’ll get him hard, but never quite take him that far. One of these days I might actually do it. But not last night. In all fairness, I didn’t edge him.
I was giving him a slow hand job while playing with his balls. As I moved down, he bucked up. And there was such a look of determination on his face, like the Little Engine That Could (I think I can, I think I can), I decided if he could get himself up that hill then he could have an orgasm. Of course, I was cheering him on by gripping his cock a little tighter and tickling his balls. I did wonder if he was both trying to come and not to come. A conflict of wanting release and not being sure if he was allowed to have it. Finally he asked if he could come. When I said yes, it didn’t take long. As a sort of additional reward I didn’t force him to eat it.
A long time ago I told Lion to masturbate using my hand instead of his. Last night was similar to that. I was a little more involved in the process this time in that I was moving my hand and playing with his balls. As I was thinking about it this morning I discovered why I like to make Lion work for his orgasm. In most other tasks, I am the one doing all the work. I’m spanking him. I’m pegging him. I’m riding him. I’m giving the hand job. I’m giving the blow job. Because Lion can’t maintain an erection while on top or standing, most of the heavy lifting falls on me. And, now that I’m thinking about it, maybe one of the reasons why I don’t care about sex so much is because I started seeing it as work. It became something that we don’t do together so much as I do it to him and I’m supposed to jump on the bandwagon. They say 90% of sex is in the brain. My brain appears to be shut down. It seems that caging my Lion has shown how much of our problems are my problems.
I’m sure you can tell that I start out writing a post about one thing and halfway through I come to a “brilliant” realization that other things are at work. Now if I could just figure out how to fix things, we’d be all set.